Emma Garner

has not written a review of substance in over two years

Favorite films

  • The Social Network
  • Boogie Nights
  • When Harry Met Sally...
  • Sorry to Bother You

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  • It

    ★★★½

  • The Spectacular Now

    ★★½

  • When Harry Met Sally...

    ★★★★★

  • Ella Enchanted

    ★★★½

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  • Monday

    Monday

    ★★★

    alright. this is at least the fifth relatively horrible sebastian stan movie that i’ve seen that circulates around him having gratuitous sex/being hot and domineering/being fully nude at this point. i have come to three (3) conclusions based on this concept:
    1. his agent skims scripts until she sees a sex scene and then does not read the rest and proceeds to book him the job.
    2. his agent is just as horny for him as we are.
    3. while she is genuinely terrible at her job, she deserves a handwritten letter on behalf of all seb stan stans thanking her for for her service.

  • Surf's Up

    Surf's Up

    ★★★★★

    films that surf's up (2007) is better than:
    -forrest gump
    -anything quarantine tarantula has ever made
    -citizen kane
    -any of the oscar winners for best picture from the last ten years with the exception of parasite
    -the entirety of the star wars sequel trilogy
    -that one movie leo finally won an oscar for where he yells at a bear or something
    -gwyneth paltrow's entire filmography