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  • The Transformers: The Movie

    The Transformers: The Movie

    ★★★★★

    actually i take back everything this is the best movie ever cinema began and ended in 1986

  • Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone

    Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone

    ★★★

    6/10 because it’s just the first 6 episodes of the show. 

    i mean it’s fucking beautiful (when it’s 2D) but it’s just a retread. excited to watch the ones that actually change shit.

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  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ★★½

    things i liked: timon and Pumba were funny. it was pretty. the songs from the original were good. donald glover and james earl jones gave good performances 

    things i disliked: there was no emotional weight behind anything. scenes that were supposed to make me feel something just made me feel bored. the final act action scene was laughable. beyoncé’s voice acting performance was genuinely awful. the new song made for the remake was shit. 

    the rotten tomatoes score of like…

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I'll do a full review after my rewatch this weekend but wow I fucking lost my mind at that part where Thanos took out his giant cock and forced it up Steve Rogers' supple backside, it truly was America's ass. All the while Cap was making out with Tony Stark, when he moaned "I am Iron Man" after finishing all over Professor Hulk's glasses with Fat Thor playing Fortnite in the background. Simply epic.


    Also yeah this is pretty clearly a joke review I regret typing this all out already what the fuck was I thinking