The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

Hooptober 7: Year of the Plague

Some TripAdvisor reviews for Texas Battle Land:

1 star - Disappointed!

Was hoping to learn something about the history of this great state but the exhibits are a mess and it’s not very clear which direction you’re supposed to go. Also there’s a steaming pile of viscera near the Davy Crockett mural.

0 stars - Not worth it

At first I thought the price was a bargain, but I ended up paying an arm and a leg anyway. Now I’m bleeding profusely on the killing floor. The wifi’s good though so I’m using what little movement I have left in my remaining fingers to leave them a shitty review.

2 stars - Don’t take the guided tour

Wouldn’t recommend the guided tour! The guide was like “here’s your tour here’s your tour here’s your tour” then just pointed at her desk and started listing what was on it: “here’s a lamp, here’s a typewriter, rubber man, armadillo, here’s Mr. Short, here’s some flowers, rolodex, here’s a lamp” and then she was like “and there’s the exit sign tour’s over”. Rude! But nice to see Mr. Short, and wasn't expecting the armadillo.

1 star - Bad Customer Service

On the way home I realised I must have left my face at the museum, because when I looked in the rearview mirror it simply wasn’t there any more, just a bloody mess with my eyes sticking out. I tried calling their Lost & Found department but they kept putting me on hold. I actually had a nice visit overall (the cafe serves AMAZING chilli), but that’s just bad customer service.

5 stars - the future of heritage attractions

More museums should be like this. Instead of presenting visitors with a straightforward chronology of Texan military history, Texas Battle Land viscerally conveys the suffering, fear and darkness that lies at the very roots of our nation. Visitors are made to walk through seemingly endless underground corridors decorated with incredibly realistic reproductions of human remains, there are murals depicting American folk heroes with blood dripping down their chins, and the whole time you can hear something like a buzzsaw buzzing from somewhere in the building. Like walking inside a big metaphor!

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