Ephereal has written 33 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Trancers 3: Deth Lives

    Trancers 3: Deth Lives

    ★★

    This one is hard to review because I was interrupted SO many times while trying to watch it.
    But at the same time I feel justified in saying it was a particularly weak instalment.
    Jack Deth, the most highly regarded Trancer Hunter there is comes across as a completely useless buffoon in this film.
    Constantly getting beat up, captured, tied up, beat up again... he was completely useless and yet still took all the credit.
    Almost all of his work…

  • Horrid Henry: The Movie

    Horrid Henry: The Movie

    ★★

    Watched this with the kids. Very much a kids movie.
    not even like some of the new-age kids films that have a lot of 'over their heads' adult stuff to make this in any real way appealing to sit through.

    only upside seems to have been that the casting was actually pretty decent.
    And I GUESS the overall message was good?

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★

    Wow....
    Just wow.

    Seriously, the empire, or first order, or whatever the heck they're called now...
    They seriously need to learn to build gigantic F**K off war machines without, stupidly placed MAJOR weaknesses... if you have the resources to build, literally the largest armada of literal PLANET DESTROYERS ever conceived....
    You have the resources to hire a guy for R&D to make sure they wont literally POP when the big gun protruding from the front like a giant phallus is…

  • Avengers Grimm

    Avengers Grimm

    ★★

    Asylum Productions.
    Need I say more!?!?

    Oh, I do!?
    i liked this, mostly. its got the typical B (or maybe even Z) grade qualities that anyone watching this is here for.
    Ridiculous dialogue, a fairly interesting and yet not overly well thought out concept.
    Very questionable acting quality.
    and um..... it has "special effects"

    The cast is nice to look at. as is often the case. they need something to pull in an audience.

    It's good....ish.
    it's fun....ish

    There's much better (and I mean that in a good-bad way) films out there, but I'll give the sequel to this a watch anyway.

  • Pandemic

    Pandemic

    ★★

    Yeah.... This film really should be called "Endemic" but with an emphasised "..." (dot dot dot) after it.

    It starts out well enough with probably B+ production values.
    But it just tries to go throw too many twists in at the end to the point it just seemed completely daft and utterly pointless.

    Seriously. If the protagonist figured it, why do the thing she did?
    Like... Yeah, nuh.

  • The Orange Man

    The Orange Man

    ★★

    I wanted to like this.
    It starts out well, and the production quality is pretty high.

    BUT! The acting is too wooden, and they use the piss-jokes WAY to often for me to really get into this.

    Sorry, I can't even really think of anything to talk about with this one.

  • Nurse Betty

    Nurse Betty

    ★★

    Meh.
    Like, I could see the idea. And it was good.
    But also, just very bland.

    Sorry, I got nothin 🤷‍♀️

  • Camp Death III in 2D!

    Camp Death III in 2D!

    ★★

    This was seriously like if you smashed Friday the 13th and Wet Hot American Summer together. But then sucked out any of the nuance, style or budget, and then layered on ten different types of ridiculous and offensive crap.

    If you're a 15 year old. You might tell your friends you find this funny to look cool. That's the calibre we're working with here.

    The squirrel was very vaguely amusing.

  • Bunni

    Bunni

    ★★

    Production Quality? What's that?
    This just.... Just don't even bother.

    There's nothing scary, or thrilling, or really any redeeming qualities to this film.
    Maybe the murderers design, which is unfortunately wasted here.
    And the acting COULD have been worse I suppose.

    Hmm, I'll give'em an extra half star for the pseudo credits scene.

  • House Shark

    House Shark

    ★★

    This movie opens big, we get full frontal nudity, and then gore in the first five or so minutes, but then it's clear they blew the budget on that alone.

    The rest of the film is ultra, ultra low budget, and relies REALLY heavily on offensive humour. not even particularly clever humour, just 'lol, trannies, lol, faggots, lol" which just sat uncomfortably.
    the "underwater" scene was vaguely amusing, and the actual shark itself is an interesting design.
    While this was quite good to watch from a 'how to make a quirky budget film" perspective,after the solid opening, there's just not much else too it.

  • Sugar Skull Girls

    Sugar Skull Girls

    ★★

    I read the plot for this one and decided to chuck it on. This film is DEFINITELY aimed at a younger audience (say 8-12?)

    The plot was interesting, and considering the audience, the humour was decent.
    plot wise there was a lot of 'wait what?' moments, but again. it's meant to be a zany kids show rather than anything else.
    The acting was average, not great, but I've definitely seen much much worse.

    if you have young girls, they might enjoy this one, (heck, boys might too) but as an adult it just didn't really appeal.

  • The Dead End

    The Dead End

    ★★

    Visually quite stunning with some amazing shots early on in the piece.
    Unfortunately it quickly becomes a derailed mess that no amount of beautiful scenery or amazing outfits can hide.
    Trying to be both mystical and sexy, but failing at both. This is essentially an hour and a half of cliche philosophising and Overt symbolism.

    The people in this film are so hard set on establishing a character that it becomes comical. Not least of which is Maya, our main character, who flips and flops from one extreme to rhe other with every encounter. Is she angry? Sad? Happy? Aroused? Why not ALL of them!?