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  • Mr. No Legs

    Mr. No Legs

    ★★★★★

    Most all movies I buy I buy completely blind. No trailers, no synopsis. Usually it's either from Letterboxd recs, boutique labels, or batshit art. This is one of those, and rarely do any of them slap as goddamn hard.

    The last film that hit all points of my personal canon was Andy Sidaris' Seven (from the same year, no less!). Mr. No Legs rolls up in a wheelchair with double shotguns on the side and blows it's ass away. It…

  • Royal Warriors

    Royal Warriors

    ★★★★

    Royal Warriors has got everything you need for a banger of a film. Exploding cars, an airplane hijacking, cringy dated workplace harassment, a night club shootout, a character pouring over VHS security footage like he's watching the Zapruder film, insane car chases, unsafe stunt work, a fuckin police tank(!), juicy squibs, and a coffin hanging from a crane.

    I implore you to watch this. Just look at the goddamn one sheet!

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  • Psycho Goreman

    Psycho Goreman

    ★★★★

    "Not my hunky boys!!!!"

    I loathe these kinds of "throwback" horror ""comedies"" like Manborg or Kung Fury that are trying to cash in on remember the 80s??? nostalgia and thankfully, despite what it looks like on the surface, Psycho Goreman isn't that. At all.

    It's charming, chock full of incredible practical gore and puppetry, the metalness of a live GWAR show, a sweded Home Depot feel of Mega 64, and best of all is just downright fucking hilarious.

    The people demand more Psycho Goreman and more end credit theme song raps.

  • Murder by Death

    Murder by Death

    ★★

    Peter Sellers in yellowface, holy fuck what a nightmare.

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  • Grizzly II: The Concert

    Grizzly II: The Concert

    ½

    The commodification of stock footage and drones is maybe the worst thing to ever happen to the film industry as any ol jagoff can now pad out their barely hour of footage with functionality pretty, but hollow, B-roll to hit that feature film mark.

    I appreciate that this was "finished" and finally released, but advertising it as featuring George Clooney, Laura Dern, and Charlie Sheen when they're killed 5mins in is some clown shit.

  • The Beach Bum

    The Beach Bum

    ★½

    Imagine being sober while in the presence of a group of friends who are stoned out of their fucking skull and drunk off their ass. They sure look like they're having a blast, but being around them is absolutely exhausting.

    Are all Harmony Korine films like this? There's nothing enjoyable about this film, and I feel like I've wasted two hours I'll never get back.