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  • Mr. No Legs

    Mr. No Legs

    ★★★★★

    Most all movies I buy I buy completely blind. No trailers, no synopsis. Usually it's either from Letterboxd recs, boutique labels, or batshit art. This is one of those, and rarely do any of them slap as goddamn hard.

    The last film that hit all points of my personal canon was Andy Sidaris' Seven (from the same year, no less!). Mr. No Legs rolls up in a wheelchair with double shotguns on the side and blows it's ass away. It…

  • Royal Warriors

    Royal Warriors

    ★★★★

    Royal Warriors has got everything you need for a banger of a film. Exploding cars, an airplane hijacking, cringy dated workplace harassment, a night club shootout, a character pouring over VHS security footage like he's watching the Zapruder film, insane car chases, unsafe stunt work, a fuckin police tank(!), juicy squibs, and a coffin hanging from a crane.

    I implore you to watch this. Just look at the goddamn one sheet!

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  • Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

    Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

    ★★★

    I have complicated feelings about this!

    On one hand it's very funny and had me knee slapping multiple times but between that fun is some really unsettling shit. Whether it's the oblivious QAnoners, the creepy plastic surgeon, the dollfaced mfer in the ball scene who said he'd sell his daughter for $500, the rally song that we saw months ago, or Ghouliani being a weird creep I'm just kind of dumbfounded by everything.

    It's good that he's attempting to make…

  • Evil Eye

    Evil Eye

    ★★

    You ever make a beautiful dinner and then spend the rest of the evening shitting your brains out? Evil Eye! Looks nice, well acted, is explosive diarrhea.

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  • The Wolf of Snow Hollow

    The Wolf of Snow Hollow

    ★★★★

    Hooptober 7: 51 of 60, "7 films from this year"

    "...and people ask you if you're fine and your like 😬 yeah."

    Jim Cummings is unmatched in making "I'm trying my best" films.

    ♥️

  • Hard Rock Zombies

    Hard Rock Zombies

    ½

    Hooptober 7: 49 of 60, "10 from my personal backlog"

    Regional horror full of interstitial music videos for a shitty hair metal band, little people played up for laughs, a Leatherface ripoff that uses a weed eater, Hitler, visible boom shots, and a shitty VHS to DVD transfer that has a chirping sound every couple minutes.

    Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.