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  • Mr. No Legs

    Mr. No Legs

    ★★★★★

    Most all movies I buy I buy completely blind. No trailers, no synopsis. Usually it's either from Letterboxd recs, boutique labels, or batshit art. This is one of those, and rarely do any of them slap as goddamn hard.

    The last film that hit all points of my personal canon was Andy Sidaris' Seven (from the same year, no less!). Mr. No Legs rolls up in a wheelchair with double shotguns on the side and blows it's ass away. It…

  • Royal Warriors

    Royal Warriors

    ★★★★

    Royal Warriors has got everything you need for a banger of a film. Exploding cars, an airplane hijacking, cringy dated workplace harassment, a night club shootout, a character pouring over VHS security footage like he's watching the Zapruder film, insane car chases, unsafe stunt work, a fuckin police tank(!), juicy squibs, and a coffin hanging from a crane.

    I implore you to watch this. Just look at the goddamn one sheet!

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  • Mother's Day

    Mother's Day

    ★★★

    A bit on the long side, but honestly not bad for being a mostly Texas Chain Saw wannabe.

  • Hurricane Smith

    Hurricane Smith

    ★★★

    Early 90s australian action cheese in which Carl Weathers, in search of his sister, destroys a sex trafficking ring that employs a nameless goon that's a dead ringer for Ted Cruz.

    Who knew that "two up" was a real sweaty back-alley game and not something that just exists in Wake in Fright.

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  • The Beach Bum

    The Beach Bum

    ★½

    Imagine being sober while in the presence of a group of friends who are stoned out of their fucking skull and drunk off their ass. They sure look like they're having a blast, but being around them is absolutely exhausting.

    Are all Harmony Korine films like this? There's nothing enjoyable about this film, and I feel like I've wasted two hours I'll never get back.

  • 1991: The Year Punk Broke

    1991: The Year Punk Broke

    ★★★

    Maddening that Thurston Moore had to go and cheat on Kim Gordon, destroying their marriage, and Sonic Youth, in the process. Dumbass.