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  • Mr. No Legs

    Mr. No Legs

    ★★★★★

    Most all movies I buy I buy completely blind. No trailers, no synopsis. Usually it's either from Letterboxd recs, boutique labels, or batshit art. This is one of those, and rarely do any of them slap as goddamn hard.

    The last film that hit all points of my personal canon was Andy Sidaris' Seven (from the same year, no less!). Mr. No Legs rolls up in a wheelchair with double shotguns on the side and blows it's ass away. It…

  • Royal Warriors

    Royal Warriors

    ★★★★

    Royal Warriors has got everything you need for a banger of a film. Exploding cars, an airplane hijacking, cringy dated workplace harassment, a night club shootout, a character pouring over VHS security footage like he's watching the Zapruder film, insane car chases, unsafe stunt work, a fuckin police tank(!), juicy squibs, and a coffin hanging from a crane.

    I implore you to watch this. Just look at the goddamn one sheet!

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  • Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye

    Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye

    ★★★

    If you're gonna put a crazy cat on your one-sheet and not have it be a monster alien parasite ala Uninvited then what are we even doing here.

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy

    ★½

    Pretty great this collapsed and we got The Invisible Man out of its rubble. Can you even imagine them making more shit like this? Good lord.

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  • Sorority House Massacre

    Sorority House Massacre

    ★★½

    Of all the sorority focused horror out there this is certainly one of those, and one I'm likely going to forget watching by morning.

    Good kills, bad scares.

  • The Beach Bum

    The Beach Bum

    ★½

    Imagine being sober while in the presence of a group of friends who are stoned out of their fucking skull and drunk off their ass. They sure look like they're having a blast, but being around them is absolutely exhausting.

    Are all Harmony Korine films like this? There's nothing enjoyable about this film, and I feel like I've wasted two hours I'll never get back.