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  • Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror

    Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror

    ★★★★★

    "Black history is black horror."

    Horror Noire is a bit of an applause break for Get Out, but at the same time Get Out changed the game by shining a broader light upon the world of Black horror.

    Black horror has always felt different than "mainstream" to me because as a white cis male I've very much lived a different, privileged, life than many and haven't undergone the same kinds of experiences. Black horror is often horror simply because life…

  • Dial Code Santa Claus

    Dial Code Santa Claus

    ★★★★

    New York's hottest new club has everything: Die Hard, Rambo, Home Alone, 90s kid mullets, tossed croissants, diabetic comas, the Grandpa from Willy Wonka, excellent miniature work, bad shadow green screen effects overlayed on cool minatures, a dead dog, a dead dog being buried to a montage, multiple montages of a ten year old kid putting on weapons, and the killer in Too Many Cooks as a murdery (and briefly, pedophiley) Santa Claus who wants to play hide and seek.

    Hopefully this sees a VOD/Blu-ray release soon because I want to immediately slot it into my yearly Christmas playlist.

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  • The Art of Self-Defense

    The Art of Self-Defense

    ★★★★

    Grim as fuck, a little predictable (but not in a detrimental way), and easily the funniest films I've seen this year. Imagine Observe and Report but with a touch of Napoleon Dynamite flair.

    Hella fun, and a great theater moment towards the end.

    Don't sleep on this.

  • Iron Man 3

    Iron Man 3

    ★★★½

    I heartily dislike what they did with The Mandarin and Guy Pierce is kind of shite, but Tony Stark has a solid arc so it's alright

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  • The Beach Bum

    The Beach Bum

    ★½

    Imagine being sober while in the presence of a group of friends who are stoned out of their fucking skull and drunk off their ass. They sure look like they're having a blast, but being around them is absolutely exhausting.

    Are all Harmony Korine films like this? There's nothing enjoyable about this film, and I feel like I've wasted two hours I'll never get back.

  • Mandy

    Mandy

    ★★★★

    🔸Normal brain: Nic Cage yelling "I'm a vampire!" in Vampire's Kiss.
    🔸Expanding brain: Nic Cage stealing the Declaration of Independence.
    🔸Galaxy brain: Nic Cage having a two minute long uncut emotional breakdown in a bathroom after watching his wife burned alive.

    This is the film equivalent of staring into the Ark of the Covenant or the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.