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  • Mr. No Legs

    Mr. No Legs

    ★★★★★

    Most all movies I buy I buy completely blind. No trailers, no synopsis. Usually it's either from Letterboxd recs, boutique labels, or batshit art. This is one of those, and rarely do any of them slap as goddamn hard.

    The last film that hit all points of my personal canon was Andy Sidaris' Seven (from the same year, no less!). Mr. No Legs rolls up in a wheelchair with double shotguns on the side and blows it's ass away. It…

  • Royal Warriors

    Royal Warriors

    ★★★★

    Royal Warriors has got everything you need for a banger of a film. Exploding cars, an airplane hijacking, cringy dated workplace harassment, a night club shootout, a character pouring over VHS security footage like he's watching the Zapruder film, insane car chases, unsafe stunt work, a fuckin police tank(!), juicy squibs, and a coffin hanging from a crane.

    I implore you to watch this. Just look at the goddamn one sheet!

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  • Laughter

    Laughter

    ★★★

    Strong performances that get nudged around an unfocussed script that's littered with threads that go nowhere or spends time pushing characters that don't really matter.

    The final shot being a blooper honestly kind of ruins the entire film to be honest. I get that the film is called The Laugh, but ending a story about a woman who's trying to overcome her experience of being a survivor of a mass murder with a fucking blooper? That's gonna be a yikes from me.

  • Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films

    Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films

    ★★★½

    Hello 1990? Yes, I am interested in seeing a Golan production of Spider-man.

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  • The Beach Bum

    The Beach Bum

    ★½

    Imagine being sober while in the presence of a group of friends who are stoned out of their fucking skull and drunk off their ass. They sure look like they're having a blast, but being around them is absolutely exhausting.

    Are all Harmony Korine films like this? There's nothing enjoyable about this film, and I feel like I've wasted two hours I'll never get back.

  • Ninja III: The Domination

    Ninja III: The Domination

    ★★★

    Honestly kind of taken back by the "ninja spinning into a borehole" effect and wondering how they pulled that off since it seemed like that was shot on-location?