G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra ★★★

Slimer green nanites that eat metal, Ray Park doing Ray Park shit, cheesy dialog, SFX that has not held up well, Marlon Wayans dragging everyone kicking and screaming through the script, goons that look like the Jason in Jason X, and a Cobra Commander reveal that got me to scream out "WHAT!!! AHHHHAHA".

It's big, it's dumb, and it's complete schlock but by god I had a lot of fun.

Eagerly anticipating to see how they shoehorn The Rock into this.