Werner Jane

Well it ain't fu**in' frosty!

Just a big fan of all things horror related.
Big.
Humongous.
Goober.
Jane.

Favorite films

  • Black Dynamite
  • Hawkeye
  • Wind River
  • Triangle

Recent activity

All
  • Palm Springs

    ★★★½

  • Frankenweenie

    ★★★½

  • Friday the 13th Part III

    ★★★

  • Kate

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

More
  • Ripper: Letter from Hell

    Ripper: Letter from Hell

    ★★

    Jack's my name. Jack whose sword never sleeps.

    A Jack the Ripper copycat, criminology roulette of victims, creepiest teacher ever, Kelly Brook getting her cheeks clapped in a dirty ass bathroom, and a sequel to a movie that doesn't exist. Films like this remind us why a good editor is gravely essential for a movie - as well as a good screenwriter, and a good director, and a cast of good actors. Hell, pretty much every freaking thing. As a…

  • Mars Attacks!

    Mars Attacks!

    ★★★★

    Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! 😍 Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! 👽 Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! 😱 Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack ACK! Ack ack ack ack ack…

Popular reviews

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  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    ★★★

    You fucking beauty!

    As a major fan of the games, I was fucking stoked when this was first announced. Genuinely thought this was going to be directed by James Wan and boy, was I hyped to see a cheesefest of awesome martial arts action and corny characters plus dialogue overkill extravaganza. Then when the first trailer dropped and by which then I looked at the description list and actually noted who the director was, a debuting filmmaker by the name…

  • Doom

    Doom

    ★★★★

    Quick Review

    Semper Fi, motherfucker!

    Cheesy, violent and badass - supported by the ruthless performances of The Rock (back when he actually tried) and Karl Urban, crafted with the orange-blue aesthetic of early 2000s blockbuster filter of horror-adventure like no other. Hell Knights, space zombies, a mutated monster in wheelchair, a cool first-person shooter that leads right to a brutal duking between two psychotic superhumans; all around simply awesome synthesis of hard-hitting action and visceral, Aliens-esque horror, both further reinforced by some dedicated practical effects of its time. Unsatisfied video game fans can make another Doom movie for themselves but this...this is my Doom.