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  • Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

    ★★★★★

    Round 3. Finally, a movie that hates dirty hippies as much as I do and is willing to torch them with cinema’s greatest Chekhov’s flamethrower. It’s all there in the title, “Once Upon a Time...” This is a fairy tale, a fictional brawl against the reality of fate and a screed in opposition to the unfair burden of the real world. Sharon Tate is an angelic representation of Hollywood’s purity, an anticipatory, poppy, beautiful presence, and her real-life demise is…

  • Risky Business

    Risky Business

    ★★★★★

    The opening to Paul Brickman’s Risky Business is particularly representative of the way the film operates within its own culture as a whole. It’s a dream — the same dream Joel has had again and again — and it’s one that encapsulates the young, male experience so well. Most teen high school comedies in the 80’s revolve around similar themes explored within Joel’s dream: sex, anxiety, worries over college, etc. The difference is, Risky Business settles into exploring its themes…

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  • Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    ★★½

    Crazy how there are still movies coming out in the year of our lord 2019 that decide it’s okay to just go with the Magical Negro trope (Magical Negrealism, as Gabriel Garcia Marquez might call it)

  • The Farewell

    The Farewell

    ★★½

    At some point in the 90’s, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She wrestled it into remission, where it stayed until 2014, which was my first year of college. When she received the diagnosis that her cancer was back, stage four this time, and that she only had a couple more years to live even if she took a far more aggressive medicated route, she seemed surprisingly okay. She was never outwardly angry, never really upset. The only real…

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  • The Nun

    The Nun

    ★½

    Ah, yes, I was wondering when “See Something Creepy And Follow It, Only To Be Jump-Scared Like A Moron: The Movie” would finally be coming out*.






    *This actually happens about every three minutes during this entire movie. I’m not kidding.

  • Toy Story 4

    Toy Story 4

    ★★★★

    In order to be yourself, you have to find yourself. 

    Both Toy Story and its sequel are perfect, laser-focused stories about finding yourself — the first seeing Buzz come to terms with his being a toy through the emotional aid of Woody; the second seeing Woody get too big for himself, only to be leveled back down by Buzz. They’re perfect companion pieces, as perfect as Woody and Buzz are companions themselves. Toy Story 3, no matter how forcibly it…