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  • Twin Peaks

    Twin Peaks

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    In the years of our Lord 1989-1991, Sherilyn Fenn was the most breathtaking woman who would ever grace the surface of our unworthy planet. David Lynch, genius that he is, had the foresight to cast her in his television show that he might preserve her perfection for all future generations to see. God bless you, David Lynch. And God bless you, Audrey Horne.

    I will continue to update this entry with my thoughts on Twin Peaks as I rewatch this…

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  • The General

    The General

    ★★★★

    Hi, I’m Buster Keaton, welcome to Jackass

  • The Eric Andre New Year's Eve Spooktacular

    The Eric Andre New Year's Eve Spooktacular

    Watching Demi Lovato’s sanity slowly melt away as she is greeted with fog machines, spaghetti, and praise of Camp Rock is one of the most achingly, painfully funny things I have ever seen. Eric Andre is the new god of absurdist comedy.

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  • In the Mood for Love

    In the Mood for Love

    ★★★★★

    I remember back when this girl and I were still together, she once asked me when I fell in love with her. I told her it was like a house you pass every day on the way to work. One day, you notice a for sale sign on an empty lot. Another day you drive by and you notice they've laid the foundations. Another day, the walls are up, and another day there's a roof, a garage, and finally a…

  • The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

    The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

    ★★★½

    I'm 20 years old.

    I'm 20 years old, in college, and on the Dean's List. My favorite poet is Keats, my favorite composer Chopin (I have his nocturnes on as I type this). And I just spent my Monday night watching The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.

    And I enjoyed it.

    What the hell am I doing with my life.