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  • The Color of Pomegranates

    The Color of Pomegranates

    This movie makes me hate poetry more than I already do.

  • Æon Flux

    Æon Flux

    ★★

    Charlize Theron probably showed up on set on day one and said, “Hey everyone, I’ve got a lot of actiony stuff to do in this movie. So I don’t really have time to care about acting well too. I would appreciate if you all acted really poorly too. That way the big star can still look cooler than everyone else in the movie. Thanks!”

    This was total gobberish on film.


    And yet I enjoyed some of the nonsense. Charlize floats around beautifully.

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  • Repulsion

    Repulsion

    ★★★★

    Well, that certainly was creepy. And ironic.

    If Catherine Deneuvre wasn’t great, this would not have worked. Good thing she is so great.

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I’ve always thought the Mummy was the lamest of the movie monsters. Here is more evidence to that position.

    So, I’m pretty sure this started life as an educational film for British schools. Nothing else could explain the extensive flashback section boringly dropped in the middle of this film. Then someone decided to show some boring people getting killed and release it to theaters.

    Have I mentioned boredom? You’re probably feeling it right now reading this boring review.

    So, why…