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  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049

    ★★½

    Proverbs 17:28 - Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

    This is scripture than Denis Villeneuve clearly took to heart in making Blade Runner 2049, which superficially charters in the same big ideas as the original film, but replaces the mystique, atmosphere, and conflict with absolutely nothing at it. The meticulous pacing of Blade Runner is here, but without the memorable characters and magic; it's just a three hour sizzle reel for Roger Deakins. The best thing I can say about the movie is that its an ungodly length and yet I didn't hate it.

  • The Stray

    The Stray

    ★½

    The Stray is a really weird family movie. Arrested development, child abuse, Malickian dreamscapes, death, divine punishment... a far darker, more complex movie than one would expect.

    But I paid for a movie about a dog so, 1.5 stars.

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  • Lady Bloodfight

    Lady Bloodfight

    ★★★

    This should have been easy: cast a bunch of capable martial artists, get to the fighting quickly, have lots of fighting, and most importantly, make the fighting legible. Unfortunately, the only thing they got right was that first one; most of the cast you have seen performing stunts in a multitude of blockbuster movies, and they certainly prove themselves up to the task of making a female Bloodsport.

    Unfortunately, the director clearly was not. By the time we get to…

  • Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

    Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

    One half star is for knowing to take the lens cap off. The other is for allowing me to say, "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats? Yeah, I've seen that. It's... really fucking bad."