ivan has written 12 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Saw 3D

    Saw 3D

    ★½

    [Watching four white people held captive in the most brutal way possible]

    Me: Oh my god, that's cruel.

    Jigsaw: Hello, Evan. I want to play a game. You, your girlfriend, and your friends are all racists. You have intimidated others based on their physical differences. But today it is you who will run scared.

    Me: Nevermind. KILL THOSE BITCHES!

  • The Final Destination

    The Final Destination

    ★½

    A survivor: *exists*

    Final Destination writers who ran out of cool ways to kill the character: 🚶🏾‍♂️🚑

  • Insidious: The Last Key

    Insidious: The Last Key

    ★½

    Ah, just another normal day for the Spectral Sightings.

  • Barcelona: A Love Untold

    Barcelona: A Love Untold

    ★½

    Daniel Padilla as an architect. I respectfully agree.

  • Before We Go

    Before We Go

    ★½

    So, what the fuck is on the back of the paper?

  • Fifty Shades Darker

    Fifty Shades Darker

    ★½

    Why did they used "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" at a useless ass scene?

  • Extraction

    Extraction

    ★½

    First of all, this is a white savior film. Plus, ya'll need to stop stereotyping that all third world countries are color yellow. Literally every scenes in this movie are mostly yellow. This movie is overrated and problematic in any aspects and the reason why this movie is being famous is because it's Chris Hemsworth. Which is truly disappointing because he agreed on making this film. To be honest, this movie would flop if they casted other actors that aren't as big as Hemsworth. To sum it all up, it's a crappy movie.

  • Endings, Beginnings

    Endings, Beginnings

    ★½

    This movie is too boring but I love the soundtrack.

  • Charlie St. Cloud

    Charlie St. Cloud

    ★½

    DID HE JUST FUCKED A GHOST????? HELLO????

  • The Purge

    The Purge

    ★½

    The purgers really wanna kill the guy. I can really smell the racism.

  • Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

    Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

    ★½

    Isn't Kronos supposed to be like the mightiest god or something? like he should be this enormous thing where everyone considers him a threat? I don't feel that in this movie. They made him look weak not gonna lie.

  • Passengers

    Passengers

    ★½

    Too cliche... meh...