this movie is the answer to the ultimate question... "Can Michael Bay Become More Michael Bay Than Michael Bay Is Michael Bay?"

"You ever wonder what it would be like to do the thing you were put on this Earth to do?"

Exploding plastic inevitable. The greatest, tackiest, most reprehensible lizard-brain dipshit maximalist action epic in I can't even tell you forever how long. I could barely tell you what happens in it. Bay has surpassed himself. Pretty much what movies are for.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

94

Much more than 'Bayhem', which usually consists of sustained formalistic excess within wonky, poorly-paced narratives of childish escapades, casual racism, and river streams of vulgarity. This has all that, don't worry, but it's within a plot structure of a tightly wound, often unbearably breakneck adventure. This puts the pedal to the metal from frame fucking one and never, not once, lets up, even if it thinks that it's slowing down (spoiler: it's not). Bay's plasticity finally meshes with a story that is just as meaningless as the deployed destruction. Every moment is Maximum Bay, built to ceaselessly, viciously entertain as it rummages through covert capitalist institutions and the ultimate fallibility of the American military state. Often veers past genre stylists like Mann and Tony Scott to ultimately find an experimental, off-hand pace similar to Late-Malick. Think Knight of Cups but with Parkour, magnet technology, cars and bodies and buildings being endlessly mangled, and more sunglasses. A flunked-out crazy-pants masterpiece.

a gloriously crass, lurid sometimes beautiful clusterfuck. bay is so formally tapped into this reprehensible american id that was dated in 2006 it's somehow almost convincing; try and not be mesmerized by this ludicrously expensive, scumbag men-on-a-mission movie that doubles as vulgar, plastic cocktail of muse needle-drops, parkour, cartoon blood squibs, dubstep remixes, screeching tires, troop porn, shattered bodies, practical explosions/vehicular chaos, eminem references, disgusting slomo gore gags and awful, bro-y attempts at wit all blended into an incomprehensible, over-saturated music video about an american billionaire/redbull stuntman heroically pulling off a righteous coup in the middle east. ryan reynolds literally gaddafi's a guy right before hugging all his homies and walking off into the sunset with them. insanity. it defies bad taste

This is peak Michael Bay, tons of action, sweeping shots of beautiful vistas and insanse camera and stunt work but it unfortunately adds up to little. A hollow, seen before plot with repetitive dialogue and basic characterisation that never gets to beyond the surface. I would be lying if i said this film didn't entertain me, the strong cast are clearly making the best of thin material and some of the gags illicited a chuckle from me but otherwise I found this to be a very empty expirience which for me is typical of Bay's current output. Worth a watch but it won't set the world on fire.

A film in which a guy board slides down a railing with a bazooka and then fires as slow motion reveals the explosive grazing a bad guys nose, tearing it right off his face. The opening car chase is probably 20 minutes yet feels like 2 hours. I miss Pain & Gain Michael Bay.

Suicide Squat, amiright?

Incomprehensible. Just awful. Surpassing my low expectations in the wrong direction, somehow achieving the status of... What I can only call subfilm. The worst editing I've ever seen.

In conclusion: Magnets, how do they work?

Ryan Reynolds charm can only do so much. Even if you check your brain out at the door, this is still an insult.

Fuck you 💥🔥

Vale pelo show de fogos.

Six Underground starts out with a bang and it is a very watchable and entertaining film, but entertaining doesn't mean good and this movie lacks any character development or real story other than just trying to put characters in line for cool action set pieces. Great movies have their characters tell the story and this couldn't be farther than that.

"Can I ask you something? If you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything that you ever wanted in one moment, would you capture it or let it slip?"

How Michael Bay can Michael Bay be?

This movie is the reason I don’t like the action genre. Mindless character motivations, callously murdering civilians for shock factor, plot holes left and right, and a weak resolve. I can’t believe Melanie Laurent was in this, I like her better in indie French films. This may be the last Michael Bay movie I ever give a chance to...

15/100

Streamed via Netflix