Popular reviews

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  Review by maria ★½ 20

  this movie is the answer to the ultimate question... "Can Michael Bay Become More Michael Bay Than Michael Bay Is Michael Bay?"

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  Review by matt lynch ★★★★½ 23

  "You ever wonder what it would be like to do the thing you were put on this Earth to do?"

  Exploding plastic inevitable. The greatest, tackiest, most reprehensible lizard-brain dipshit maximalist action epic in I can't even tell you forever how long. I could barely tell you what happens in it. Bay has surpassed himself. Pretty much what movies are for.

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  Review by BeHaind ½ 95

  10 Sekunden sind um - 32 Schnitte. Auto, grün, Closeups auf Augen, Lenkrad, Hände.
  Ich erkenne nichts, aber irgendwo fährt ein grüner Nissan..GANGSCHALTUNG. Jemand sagt Italien. Vier Passagiere. Ryan Reynolds schimpft.
  Oh...eine Einstellung, die länger als zwei Sekunden..GANGSCHALTUNG.
  Zwei Autos kollidieren, keine Ahnung warum. Nonnen, zeigen den Stinkefinger. Zeitlupe. Melanie Laurent wurde in den Bauch geschossen, findet sie aber gar nicht so schlimm. Einer sagt squirten!
  GANGSCHALTUNG 
  Mehr Zeitlupe. Mehr Stinkefinger. Quietscheente. Jemandem fliegt IN ZEITLUPE eine Taube an den Kopf und..GANGSCHALTUNG. SCHÜSSE, ein Model auf nem Roller. Sexistische Kackscheiße, Witz von Ryan Reynolds. Nicht lustig.
  Chartmusik spielt ein. Irgendwer steht ohne ersichtlichen Grund auf einem Gebäude....uuund jetzt läuft er die Wand runter. Zeitlupe. Irgendwas geht kaputt. 
  AUGAPFEL! Keine Ahnung…

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  Review by SilentDawn ★★★★★ 31

  94

  Much more than 'Bayhem', which usually consists of sustained formalistic excess within wonky, poorly-paced narratives of childish escapades, casual racism, and river streams of vulgarity. This has all that, don't worry, but it's within a plot structure of a tightly wound, often unbearably breakneck adventure. This puts the pedal to the metal from frame fucking one and never, not once, lets up, even if it thinks that it's slowing down (spoiler: it's not). Bay's plasticity finally meshes with a story that is just as meaningless as the deployed destruction. Every moment is Maximum Bay, built to ceaselessly, viciously entertain as it rummages through covert capitalist institutions and the ultimate fallibility of the American military state. Often veers past genre stylists like Mann and Tony Scott to ultimately find an experimental, off-hand pace similar to Late-Malick. Think Knight of Cups but with Parkour, magnet technology, cars and bodies and buildings being endlessly mangled, and more sunglasses. A flunked-out crazy-pants masterpiece.

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  Review by Patrick Willems ★★★ 12

  In the opening 20-minute-long action sequence Michael Bay destroys much of Florence, Italy, has his heroes injure multiple innocent civilians, and features a bloody human eyeball (with extremely long optic nerve) as a key prop.

  This is pure, uncut Michael Bay, with all the good and bad that entails.

  (also I paid $20 to see it in a theater)

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  Review by Josh Lewis ★★★★ 10

  A gloriously crass, lurid sometimes beautiful clusterfuck. Bay is so formally tapped into this reprehensible American id that was dated in 2006 it's somehow almost convincing in its ugliness. Try and not be mesmerized by this ludicrously expensive, scumbag men-on-a-mission movie that doubles as a vulgar, plastic cocktail of muse needle-drops, parkour, cartoon blood squibs, giant magnets, shitty 24-hour dubstep remixes, screeching tires, troop porn, shattered bodies, practical explosions/vehicular chaos, Eminem references, disgusting slo-mo gore gags and awful, bro-y attempts at wit all blended into an incomprehensible, over-saturated music video about an American billionaire/Redbull stuntman heroically pulling off a coup in the middle east. Ryan Reynolds literally helps gruesomely Gaddafi a guy right before hugging all his homies and walking off into the sunset with them and the entire thing is shot like a Sprite commercial. It's like a formal designer suit surface worn by a popped zit. Insanity. It defies bad taste.

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  Review by Sean Baker 25

  This is the first Michael Bay film I've really liked. Incredible stunts and VFX. And Reynolds is charming and funny as always. It is shot by the incomparable Bojan Bazelli. And Lorne Balfe's score is solid.

  www.artofvfx.com/6-underground-richard-hoover-overall-vfx-supervisor-netflix/

  Watched on Netflix of course

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  Review by Branson Reese 9

  People keep falling over themselves to call Michael Bay an auteur and there’s something really funny about how removed from that conversation he’s obviously been. This movie feels like Bay watched Deadpool and said “this was great but it had some medium shots. I will fix this” and then he just started walking towards Ryan Reynolds like the It Follows sex monster.

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  Review by Eli Hayes ★★★ 13

  this man straight up ripped the
  spice girls straight out the stereo.

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  Review by Kenned Lehmann ★½ 9

  I guess this is what happens when you take a Michael Bay, hollow him, then stuff him with some Michael Bay, wrapping a Michael Bay around him, then spice him with plenty of Michael Bay, cook him in some Michael Bay and then serve the Michael Bay with some Michael Bay on the side.

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  Review by reibureibu ★★★★★ 24

  Absolute fucking yes. The most vulgar that said auteurism gets, Michael Bay making a parody of a Michael Bay film and it's so incredibly evil but somehow it just works, its absolute crass accelerationist film-making an orgy of cameras crashing into anything and everything and suddenly, in the midst of the storm, we see just how much mayhem was (and will be) made. Each setpiece makes no sense and yet makes perfect video-game sense, half the action feels like some of the most elaborately-filmed quick time events complete with shitty one-liner quips and heads exploding. The whole thing is just laced with such cynicism that at this point I don't think Bay even cares about making any of this likeable,…

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  Review by sydney 5

  "nobody's going to save the world, but what if we could make it a little less shitty?"

  michael bay crafts an elaborate fantasyland in which billionaires, assassins, CIA spies, soldiers, and thieves live in separate worlds that have nothing to do with each other, where evil dictators pop up out of nowhere, where the past and present have no context - all brought together by the very american value that the best thing to do when you feel like a failure is to redeem yourself by charging in to try to solve other people's problems. all that really needs to be said about this movie's politics is that countless innocent bystanders are gleefully killed by the heroes in the opening…