Popular reviews

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  Review by christophwaltz ★★½ 1

  My mom is still super convinced that Abraham Lincoln was truly a vampire hunter. I cannot detect any sarcasm but I'm hoping to God she is joking.

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  Review by MiguelsMR ★★★★★ 6

  Sorry if you can't handle the truth pussies but this movie is a masterpiece

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  Review by Ethan Ethan ★★★ 3

  I mean... this is exactly what I expected so I'm not complaining.

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  Review by Todd Gaines ★ 28

  Honest Abe killing vamps with a big ole' axe. Whiplash. Awful teeth. Mommy dearest. George Washington smoked and grew strong ganja according to Dazed and Confused and chopped down a cherry tree. Abe Lincoln stalked and killed vamps. It all makes sense to me. Dead tits. Missing eyeball. I think the vamps are on steroids. Piss pot. Vampire sunscreen? Honest Abe wasn't born with a beard? Dominic Cooper plays a hilarious scene stealing bootleg Mr. Miyagi. Benjamin Walker the actor who plays Honest Abe resembles a younger Liam Neeson. I still have no idea who the fuck Benjamin Walker is. Close shave. Mr. Speed's stringy hair. I wonder if Mary Elizabeth Winstead landed the role of Mary Todd Lincoln because…

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  Review by Madelyn M. ★ 1

  HOW CAN A MOVIE ABOUT ABRAHAM LINCOLN SLAYING VAMPIRES BE SO GOD DAMN BORING?

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  Review by emma renton ★½ 1

  ok but imagine this yeah Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter THE MUSICAL you are so welcome hollywood

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  Review by matt lynch ★★

  i'm fine with how stupid this is but did it have to look and sound like shit too?

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  Review by 20oldboy03 ★★ 20

  Bleiben wir bei den Fakten:

  
  Fakt 1.) Abraham Lincoln verteidigte schon als kleiner Junge Afroamerikaner und setzte sich vehement gegen die Sklaverei ein.

  Fakt 2.) Abraham Lincoln wird durch eine Verkettung von Ereignissen zum Vampirjäger, gleich einem Van Helsing.

  Fakt 3.) Abraham Lincoln bleibt dabei, selbst als erwachsener Mann gegen die Missstände, die Brutalität, die Menschenunwürdigkeit der Sklaverei zu kämpfen, die Fäuste zu bandagieren, sich in den Gerichtssälen zu behaupten.

  Fakt 4.) Abraham Lincoln wird zum 16. Präsidenten der Vereinigten Staaten von Amerika.

  Fakt 5.) Der Norden und der Süden spalten sich, der Amerikanische Bürgerkrieg, der Sezessionskrieg, beginnt, als Mahnmal wird die Schlacht von Gettysburg, eine Schlacht gegen unsterbliche Vampire.

  
  Damit ist wohl alles „gesagt“, geschrieben und wiedergegeben.

  
  Fazit: Im Gleichschritt mit meinen bisherigen größten Filmflops des Jahres wie „Zack Snyder´s Justice League“ und „Norbit“, entschuldige Stefan (LesGrossman).

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  Review by DirkH ★★★ 13

  Much like the film itself, my appreciation of it was like a roller-coaster ride.

  I approached this film with great trepidation as, while I think director Bekmambetov has a great visual style, he doesn't really know how to tell a story. This sadly is still the case, but he has improved.

  About 15 minutes in I encountered one of my biggest pet peeves concerning vampire movies; them strutting around in broad daylight. I was ready to write off this film then and there were it not for the fact that I came to the realisation that this film actually creates its own mythology, in fact, that's the main theme of the film. If I am ready to accept that Lincoln…

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  Review by MiguelsMR ★★★★★ 12

  Making a cult based on this movie. Comment if you want to join, or if you have me on discord, DM me

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  Review by Allison M. 🌱 @ SXSW ‘23 ★★½ 2

  This had a couple of cute things about it. It also felt kind of weird, because you knew what was going to happen. Overall, an okay watch. But don't rush out to see it.

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  Review by Mr. DuLac ★

  Bravo, Mr. Lincoln! Bravo. You're even better then I've heard.
  -Adam

  In the 1830s Abraham Lincoln, with the help of Iron Man's dad Howard Stark, developed a martial arts form known as Ax-Fu to battle southern slave owners who apparently were also vampires. After the Civil War the surviving vampires mostly fled to Louisiana where they would go undetected for over 140 years, you can see their story in True Blood.

  What the hell is going on here? Was the source material even good? I ask because author Seth Grahame-Smith actually adapted his own novel when he wrote the screenplay so he can't really blame someone for "butchering" what must have been a literary masterpiece. I know the casting of…