Edward Carnby is a private investigator specializing in unexplainable supernatural phenomena. His cases delve into the dark corners of the world, searching for truth in the occult remnants of ancient civilizations. Now, the greatest mystery of his past is about to become the most dangerous case he has ever faced.
Christian Slater Tara Reid Stephen Dorff Will Sanderson Ona Grauer Ho-Sung Pak Sarah Deakins Françoise Yip Daniel Cudmore Frank C. Turner Matthew Walker Catherine Lough Haggquist Mark Acheson Darren Shahlavi Karin Konoval Craig Bruhnanski Kwesi Ameyaw Ed Anders Michael P. Northey Malcolm Scott Ryan Drescher Sean Campbell Brendan Fletcher Mike Dopud Dean Redman Brad Turner Donna Lysell John Fallon Dustyn Arthurs
Boll Kino Beteiligungs GmbH & Co. KG Brightlight Pictures Herold Productions Infogrames Entertainment AITD Productions
Solo en la oscuridad, Arôn in za dâku, Sami u tami, Karanlikta Tek Basina
Monsters, aliens, sci-fi and the apocalypse Horror, the undead and monster classics monster, creature, dinosaurs, scientist or beast creature, aliens, monster, sci-fi or scary zombies, undead, horror, gory or flesh horror, scientist, monster, doctor or experiment earth, sci-fi, space, spaceship or scientific Show All…
NOT a stirring drama about someone masturbating for the first time.
That title is totally misleading as it had to be either that or an adaptation of a brilliant video game.
Unfortunately, it is neither.
Listen I love House of the Dead, I really do. It’s completely awful and very entertaining for all the ways that only people like me love and it’s inexplicably rewatchable so I feel like I should love this mess just as much but...I don’t. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work on that same terrible/delightful level.
I’d write a brief synopsis about this but I don’t really know what to say. It opens with this super long scrolling intro that apparently had to be added after test audiences were left incredibly confused, and even after watching this at least 3 times, I still don’t really have any idea what it’s about. There are awful cgi monsters that you never get…
![nathaxnne [hiatus]](https://a.ltrbxd.com/resized/avatar/upload/1/9/5/2/4/3/shard/avtr-0-80-0-80-crop.jpg?k=6516bf4433){kind=small}
in the mid-00's we were just doing our best getting along with cptsd living under a totalitarian doomsday cult doing its best to bring about a permanent pax amerikkkana and/or end of the world which amounted to roughly the same thing and once it became clear that no, it really wasn't going to end and that IN FACT we would have to deal with living under an apocalyptic totalitarian doomsday cult whomst since they couldn't really force the coming of the messiah were totally cool with just creating tribulation conditions for the rest of us the thinking being that if they made stuff bad enough on purpose god would have to intervene by sending his only begotten son back not…
It's my first Uwe Boll movie and I have almost nothing to say. Seriously, even on a basic descriptive level, I couldn't tell you the plot of this film if you held a gun to my head.
Alone in the Dark is bewildering, but also strangely generic. At times it is terribly boring in its unambitious meandering and under-explanation of key story points, while at other times it springs to life, wildly changing its aesthetic and going into overblown, action-packed, heavy metal music video mode.
I was frequently unsure of what Boll was going for here. Suspense? Mystery? Sci-fi action? Horror? The more "horrifying" scenes lack any tension or terrified intrigue and the action beats are cliched.
I know this…
◖◗ ◕ ◓ ◒ ◑ ◐ ☹ 𝕰𝖓𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝕯𝖆y𝖘 𝕾𝖈𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝕳𝖚𝖓𝖙 ☹ ◐ ◑ ◒ ◓ ◕ ◖◗
𝟖. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐁 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
I added this to my watchlist after a conversation with Nathaxnne recently when we realized our shared love for Tara Reid. How could I not want to see a film in which Tara Reid plays an archaeologist in frosted pink lip gloss? About fifteen minutes into the movie I was having such a hard time paying attention that I paused to look at Uwe Boll's filmography and that's when I realized that this would be my very first film of his. How is that possible? I thought I'd seen House of the Dead…
Videogame-Weekend
Community-Projekt von @MoeMents
boxd.it/bgZ9q
Sind Uwe Boll's Werke jetzt wirklich so grottenschlecht, oder sind sie eigentlich mehr belangloser Durchschnittgschmarri?
Ich mag mir da eigentlich auch gar kein Urteil bilden...folge auch nicht dem "Anti Boll - Trend"...
Aber, zumindest bei diesem Film handelt es sich definitiv um Käse, verschimmelten Stinki-Berg-Käse 🤣
Hier "vergeht" er sich nämlich an einem richtigen Klassiker, denn „Alone in the Dark“ kann man wohl als Vorreiter der Horror-Survival-Games wie „Resident Evil“ oder „Silent Hill“ bezeichnen.
Bei einem Hauptdarsteller wie Christian Slater könnte man doch eigentlich hohe Erwartungen stellen, oder?
Allerdings bleibt dieser in Folge der schlechten Regiearbeit beängstigend blass...und schlecht!
Auch Schnucki Stephen Dorff rettet nichts mehr.
Und Sorry: Tara Reid, der ohnein "Dumpfbacke" groß und…
a slight disresemblance to reality, simultaneously too familiar and un-filmlike. sweat damp gray carpeted cubicle material, wet-stained concrete. it has not showered in weeks for christian slater tank top smellovision. greasy stale beer breath uncles talking about something you can't follow and don't care about. lazily contemptuous. a misnamed limewire mp3, just one dumb bc rich ass bonehead riff over and over. this movie is like real life. like going to work. like a tuesday night. like being stuck in traffic. like bad breath. or being in a payless shoe store. like smelling someone else's burp. like clicking on a new article you don't even really want to read and then it's behind a paywall and you try to go…
This was actually quite decent!
Action packed filled with lots of entertainment!
The cast was great with a few familiar faces.
Bad-ass soundtrack.
With some cool looking monsters!
💥
This would have passed unnoticed had it premiered on the Syfy Channel, but instead it opened wide and launched Uwe Boll’s tenure as cinema’s village idiot. Looks like it was shot in the Bat Cave at the Science Centre. Certain scenes have a stilted, lost-in-translation quality that reminded me of Lucio Fulci, but it’s fair to say that Boll is not an equivalent talent. Great to see Jack Nicholson’s two sons from different marriages, Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff, tearing it up together. Not Tara Reid’s finest hour.
I wish I saw this theatrically instead of trudging out to House of Sand and Fog or some shit like that.
Really starting February out with a doozy. I’ve gone my whole life without watching a Uwe Boll film but it’s gonna be unavoidable if I’m going to be watching video game films this month.
What in the almighty hell is this? I think I’ll be asking myself this a lot but DID THEY EVEN PLAY THE GAME ONCE? One of my biggest pet peeves in film is an opening voice over crawl because it goes against the rule of show don’t tell. This one is nearly two minutes long! Slater is ridiculous. Tara Reid as a museum curator? To the people that paid money for this in the theater, I salute you 🥃
I wasn’t expecting much but my God am I in trouble this month!
My Eyes Hurt When I Go Outside, It's Too Bright!!! (or, My Halloween Horrorfest 2018) Movie #62
There's a few moments of action in this movie that I would actually consider to be good-ish, but you know how all these people love Troll 2 or The Room or Manos because they're so bad they're good? Well this movie and House of the Dead are like that for me. They're my bad movie cocaine and Uwe Boll is my dealer. Plus, Christian Slater, Tara Reid (with glasses--so smart!) and Stephen Dorff fighting cg alien rip offs in the dark? I'm in.
