This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

im not sure if it would do anything to improve anyone's chances of survival but regardless i feel like someone really ought to apologize to Ms. Blair Witch. she was tortured to death by shitty colonists and now all she wants to do is live her death peacefully in her fixer upper in the middle of the woods and meddling kids won't leave her alone!! im sorry blair witch. i love and respect you. i won't bother u.

Of all the things a movie about a witch-haunted woods must do, especially a movie which grounds itself materially in the documentation process, the provenance by which notice of this haunting is delivered or transmitted to the viewer, the recipient of this transmission, to be haunted itself and in turn to haunt the viewer is the most vital, most important task of such a movie. For what are movies but hauntings themselves? A spectral emanating from the past which attaches itself to a viewer, binds itself and becomes part of. If such a movie is constructed as to resist its own propensity to haunt, and instead is actively cast aside, unhexed even during the viewing, it undoes itself, undoes the pact, the covenant, between the viewer and itself.

Oh just fuck off, will ya?

But, it's a sequel/reboot! We have to pay homage to the original!

Listen Mr You've-directed-the-guest-so-you-deserve-some-slack-but-you're-awfully-close-to-being-called-mr-Wankard-from-now-on, paying homage does not mean basically copying everything and simply updating it. And how the fuck are you paying homage if you TAKE AWAY EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MYSTERY THAT MADE THE ORIGINAL SO TERRIFYING? (to me, that is. I scare easily.)

But but we've got all these cool cameras and stuff

THAT YOU ONLY USE TO INDUCE EPILEPSY!!

But we've got a drone

FUCK OFF!!

But we're totally expanding the mythology around the Blair Witch

NO YOU'RE NOT YOU DAFT WANKER YOU'RE DESTROYING IT BY ACTUALLY SHOWING EVERYTHING. MY IMAGINATION IS MUCH MORE FRIGHTENING THAN THAT SILLY GENERIC MONSTER DESIGN YOU SHAT OUT!!

but our movie is really

OH JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY!

Next time my wife tries to get me to go camping, I’m just gonna show her this. Camping is unnatural, guys. If men were meant to camp, there wouldn’t be Blair Witches out in the woods making people stand in the corners of dilapidated houses.

Full review at ScreenCrush.

When you finally run out of ideas, I guess there’s nothing left to do than just remake a wildly successful movie. The original “Blair Witch Project” was a masterpiece. Even if you didn’t like it, it must be acknowledged that it was the first ever “found footage” film, and it literally changed the horror genre forever. Because it was the first, the original film did things viewers never saw before, and it was truly a scary experience. Flash forward 18 years, throw 6 more kids into the forest, one of them being the brother of the girl missing in the first movie. This one provides the same scares, the same plot, and is a real disappointment.

Watch as Adam Wingard slaughters yet another franchise with “Blair Witch”. The edgy and hip soft reboot to one of my favorite films of all time. This film is essentially just The Blair Witch Project, but worse. Adam Wingard is such a pretentious douche that he thinks his films are such high art, when in reality they’re awful and disrespectful to the source material and the fan base, mostly with death note and this film. He’s almost as bad as Micheal bay.

Underrated!!!!

pretty dumb at this point lmao

A good movie.

3 / 4

It's ok as sequels go but it's not as good as the first one.

Takes everything good about the original Blair Witch and completely misses the point/ruins it.

Blair Witch: Ranked

Remember when before release this was gonna be called The Woods and I was kinda hyped since You're Next was solid and I loved The Guest? Then it was revealed that this was actually a Blair Witch film and I was even more excited. Then it turned out like This.

Good times. :)

idk if it was the weed or the story but goddamn i could not follow this plot