Synopsis
There's something evil hiding in the woods.
Students on a camping trip discover something sinister is lurking beyond the trees.
Blair Witch
2016 Directed by Adam Wingard
Director
Producers
Jason Constantine Roy Lee Daniel Myrick Eduardo Sánchez Michael Paseornek Keith Calder Jessica Wu Eda Kowan Steven Schneider Jenny Hinkey John Powers Middleton
Writer
Editors
Cinematography
Production Design
Art Direction
Set Decoration
Visual Effects
Composer
Sound
Costumes
Studios
Countries
Language
Alternative Titles
Šuma, ブレアウィッチ, The Woods, Bleiro ragana, The Blair Witch Project 3 - Blair Witch, Blair Witch: La bruja de Blair, La légende Blair, Blair Witch 20 let poté, Bruxa de Blair, La bruja de Blair
Popular reviews
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im not sure if it would do anything to improve anyone's chances of survival but regardless i feel like someone really ought to apologize to Ms. Blair Witch. she was tortured to death by shitty colonists and now all she wants to do is live her death peacefully in her fixer upper in the middle of the woods and meddling kids won't leave her alone!! im sorry blair witch. i love and respect you. i won't bother u.
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Oh just fuck off, will ya?
But, it's a sequel/reboot! We have to pay homage to the original!
Listen Mr You've-directed-the-guest-so-you-deserve-some-slack-but-you're-awfully-close-to-being-called-mr-Wankard-from-now-on, paying homage does not mean basically copying everything and simply updating it. And how the fuck are you paying homage if you TAKE AWAY EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MYSTERY THAT MADE THE ORIGINAL SO TERRIFYING? (to me, that is. I scare easily.)
But but we've got all these cool cameras and stuff
THAT YOU ONLY USE TO INDUCE EPILEPSY!!
But we've got a drone
FUCK OFF!!
But we're totally expanding the mythology around the Blair Witch
NO YOU'RE NOT YOU DAFT WANKER YOU'RE DESTROYING IT BY ACTUALLY SHOWING EVERYTHING. MY IMAGINATION IS MUCH MORE FRIGHTENING THAN THAT SILLY GENERIC MONSTER DESIGN YOU SHAT OUT!!
but our movie is really
OH JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY!
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Of all the things a movie about a witch-haunted woods must do, especially a movie which grounds itself materially in the documentation process, the provenance by which notice of this haunting is delivered or transmitted to the viewer, the recipient of this transmission, to be haunted itself and in turn to haunt the viewer is the most vital, most important task of such a movie. For what are movies but hauntings themselves? A spectral emanating from the past which attaches itself to a viewer, binds itself and becomes part of. If such a movie is constructed as to resist its own propensity to haunt, and instead is actively cast aside, unhexed even during the viewing, it undoes itself, undoes the pact, the covenant, between the viewer and itself.
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if the scariest thing about your movie is a fucking foot then we have a problem
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Next time my wife tries to get me to go camping, I’m just gonna show her this. Camping is unnatural, guys. If men were meant to camp, there wouldn’t be Blair Witches out in the woods making people stand in the corners of dilapidated houses.
Full review at ScreenCrush.
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TIFF 2016 Film #16
I'm still shook. There must have been a hydraulics system in my chair because I was flying out of my chair left and right. Easily the most I've jumped out of my seat from a movie. Blair Witch has jump scares galore, so if that's not your thing I would avoid this!
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The Blair Witch finally conquered her fear of making public appearances, so proud of her ❤️
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can't think of a more shameless example of Hollywood taking a genuinely exciting, provocative, audaciously experimental work of art and using its name to sell an ugly, generic, self-referential piece of shit. The Blair Witch Project is one of the best and scariest films of all time and you'll see none of the reasons why in here. just a bunch of superficial "escalation" of that film's details (3 times the characters! 10 times the "scares"! 100 times the spooky stick figures!) and some truly disgusting refutations of its core tenets. there's an actual real physical monster in this movie and you see it full-on like 5 times. made me sick to my stomach. done talking about this thing. garbage garbage garbage.
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i tried writing a serious review but it just kept on being me talking about how much i love jump scares because they make me feel scared and i can't get scared and how this movie made me really jittery so i felt scared and i love this movie for that because horror movies are one of my favorite things in the entire world and all of that shit
but also...the freakiest horror trope in the world to me is probably the "we went in a circle???!???!?" thing and this movie does that and i had chills multiplying and its so dumb and i just love movies but more so than anything else i love my stupid stupid horror sequels/remakes…
