I'm always going to wonder why Cobra cut that slice of pizza in half with a large pair of scissors.

This is a great movie, but that's not why I'm here. I just want everyone on Letterboxd to know that I shaved Brian Thompson's face. Physically, with my hands, touched and shaved his beard. This is a true story, it's my reality, no one can take this from me.

Every time I revisit Cobra it never fails at being a fucking tastlessly, tasty treat... and it scrumptiously slaps hard.

Had to cleanse the palate after watching two movies that I’ll never think about again for the rest of my life and nothing does that better than COBRA. Can confirm, this is the cure. Unlike most movies, this doesn’t need gas station dick pills to get itself off.

This is why you should give this film a pass:

- awsom(50)

- cutting pizza with scissors

- 'This is where the law ends and I start...........sucker!'

- Matchstick toothpick.

- Dennis Leary once said he wanted a cheese helmet so he could put it on and eat cheese the entire day. This is that.

- There is no plot. This is a good thing.

- Lots of A-team violence.

One thing:
Brigitte Nielsen is awful. It's like watching an East European shot put athlete trying to act.

always forget this is one of those movies that never 100% lives up to its (incredible) concept & potential - i dont even mean that as a diss cuz like most 80s cannons (or empire/concorde/new horizons) all the mindblowing dope shit (KNIFE CULT etc) is more fun to remember & think about than they actually pull off but whats onscreen still fuckin rules & when they drop robert tepper's "angel of the city" over the l.a. skyline & cut to brigitte nielsen dancing with a robot wearing a fur coat (and a robot with a dick) none of this even remotely matters

Oh, I loved this sooo much. 85 minutes of non stop fun. I usually get bored at some stage if a film is predominatly action but not the case here. It was so 80s it hurt. Loved the corny tunes and Stallone and Nielsen were a blast. I especially loved Stallone's response to somebody threatening to blow up a supermarket, "Go ahead. I don't shop here". Dark wet streets, cutting pizza with scissors, weird motorbiking murderous cult, nasty bitch copper, smarmy detective played by the Dad in Hellraiser who typically gets a punch at the end. And it took the Texas Chainsaw Massacre hooking to another level lol. Great times!! Plus set at Christmas so will have to watch again then.

Had to give it two and half stars to average the eternal quantum oscillation between being a 1 star movie and a 5 star movie. As my colleague Felix Biederman pointed out to me, this film is the aesthetic distillation of Bolsonaroismo.

Cobra is a slasher movie, and I won’t hear any different.

Once more, Stallone wraps himself in the American flag and fights for the greater glory of mankind by going after criminal vermin. This time, he’s a cop. Script offers up typical action fare, where all the other cops are stubborn dummies, and all the bad guys are repellent creeps. Some good action sequences executed with tremendous style. Movie offers up one of Brigitte Nielsen's best works. Ultimately, "Cobra" is a sleek, extremely violent and somewhat exciting police thriller and that's good enough for me.

The ketchup gag is A+

Audio commentary track by George Cosmatos made this very entertaining. He really gets excited for small details and talked about how much this movie was loved in japan. Was a good friend simulator for the runtime. Oddly comforting movie

Decent enough, but I'll be damned if I can figure out what the evil cult's motivation is besides clanging axes together and some vague "way of the new world" nonsense. Might have helped if it had some kind of charismatic leader figure.

Enjoyable fucking terrible. The 80s were a national tragedy and almost every piece of shit movie coming out of it was propagandist trash.

Cobra is the biggest psychopath in a movie filled with psychopaths. No way this isn't a dream Ryan Gosling's character had in Drive.

Gimme $20 million so I can make Old Man Cobra

Feels like this was supposed to be set in the future but the studio made Sly remove a title card that said “In the year 2050 crime is actually good and it has become illegal for cops to do their job”

Pretty cool, baby.

I think Stallone just is Rocky. Like...this is Rocky’s idea of “cool”. Cobra is the movie Rocky would make.

I love dumb guys.

Sly rules. Cosmatos Senior and The Cannon Group serving up some decent Reagan era slop.

“i’ll blow this whole place up!”
“go ahead, i don’t shop here.”