I have now seen the very Costner of '90s Costner--and I can definitively say:
YOU WILL NEVER BREAK ME, COSTNER! NEVER! *stands and shakes fist*
Friends, I had no intentions of ever seeing this film ever in my entire life. You and I have both read so much about its terrible White Saviourness. We know better.
But, friends, I turned on the television this evening. And this was beginning. Once again, FATE had intervened with its own favorite intervention: 1990s Kevin Costner.
I stood defiant and unbroken. And I have lived to tell the tale.
This is the 3+ hour (OF COURSE) story of how Kevin Costner comedically tripped and fell over things and journaled his way through the frontier…