Synopsis
Murder was just the beginning.
Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot’s Egyptian vacation aboard a glamorous river steamer turns into a terrifying search for a murderer when a picture-perfect couple’s idyllic honeymoon is tragically cut short.
2022 Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot’s Egyptian vacation aboard a glamorous river steamer turns into a terrifying search for a murderer when a picture-perfect couple’s idyllic honeymoon is tragically cut short.
Kenneth Branagh Gal Gadot Armie Hammer Emma Mackey Tom Bateman Letitia Wright Sophie Okonedo Jennifer Saunders Russell Brand Annette Bening Dawn French Rose Leslie Ali Fazal Michael Rouse Alaa Safi Orlando Seale Charlie Anson Danny Hughes Sam James Page James Schofield George Jaques Jonah Rzeskiewicz Eleanor de Rohan Susannah Fielding Adam Garcia Rick Warden Noel White Niamh Lynch Rosie Dwyer Show All…
Ridley Scott Mark Gordon Kenneth Branagh Simon Kinberg Judy Hofflund Kevin J. Walsh Matthew Jenkins Mathew Prichard James Prichard
Steven Lawrence Mike Stallion Dominic Masters Stephen Swain Katrina Mackay Richard Hardy Alice Biddle Celene McDowell
Claudia Dehmel Jon Bowen Mathieu Raynault George Murphy Scott Balkcom Annie Cliche Jacinthe Côté Owen McGonigle Sunil Kamath Daniel Hazeltine Jamie Hearing Ketan Karekar David Moreno Hernandez
Mord på Nilen, Murder on the Nile, Śmierć na Nilu, Nāve uz Nīlas, ฆาตกรรมบนลำน้ำไนล์, Mort sur le Nil, Muerte en el Nilo, Tod auf dem Nil, 尼羅河謀殺案, Смрт на Нилу, 尼罗河上的惨案
Every piece of dialogue that comes out of Gal Gadot's mouth sounds like she's trying to promote an ad for a Superbowl commercial
*I'm talking about her line delivery, not her accent
“Simple, you’ll grow a mustache.”
There’s no way anything else this year tops this movie’s dead-serious mustache origin story prologue.
There are not one, but TWO scenes of straight couples simulating doggy style fucking in this movie.
this film opens with a black-and-white cold open origin story for poirot's mustache. i wish the entire movie had that kind of demented energy, but sadly it's mostly just very boring. the first death doesn't even happen until more than halfway through, and up to that point it's just a litany of actors both great (annette bening, christ) and terrible (gadot and hammer, truly the first couple of bad acting) giving unbelievably bad performances. the film almost picks up once poirot is doing his investigation thing, if only because it's hard to screw up that propulsive agatha christie storytelling. but unlike orient express, which comes with one of mystery writing's most entertaining twist endings free of charge, death on the…
Kenneth branagh: [jolts awake in a cold sweat at 3am] but how did poirot get his moustache?