"Merry Christmas, you assholes!" - Johnny Blaze
I can think of worse ways to spend 90 minutes. With exceedingly low expectations, and a constant referral back to the horrifically average 2007 original, I was prepared for the worst. But in my eyes, the Cage is never boring. And this is the Cagiest Cage film I've seen in a while.
Dripping with his own personal brand of madness, the film is far from good, but it's so over-the-top and mental that it's kinda loveable. Cage owns the movie by being the worst thing in a bad film, and like in The Wicker Man, this helps things considerably.
My rating of this film is not for the quality of it. It's for the enjoyment. Just a good bit of mental fun, and a completely harmless waste of time. Plus, Christopher Lambert is in it. If that doesn't make you want to watch it, then there's nothing I can do for you.