CW: dysphoria, genital mention, maybe spoilers?
My first puberty was distinctly unkind to me.
At the time, I did not know what it meant. At the time, I only knew that what I was before was infinitely better than what I was becoming. In retrospect, it manifested more as a disconnection than depression, back then. It wasn't until I was able to taste what I was missing that the yearning became unbearable, but back then, I knew that the changes hitting my body were wrong. It was startling, horrifying, sudden. I practiced avoidance (never shaving, never masturabting, never caring about what I looked like, never doing anything). It was effective to a small degree, allowing me to navigate successfully through…