I know what you’re thinking: “Four stars?! Are you off your tit, man?!”
But now hold on; give me a chance to explain.
You see, sometimes I’ll try and strike a bargain with the Movie Gods. I’ll say something like, “Oh wise and omnipotent Movie Gods, if you would please send Bruce back into that cellar to save my man Ving from those fiends and their gimp, I’ll sing Tarantino’s praises ‘til the day I die.” And if I’m lucky, they’ll hear my plea and oblige with a resounding, “You got it, buddy!” and even throw in a Hattori Hanzō to seal the deal!
But other times... other times my prayers fall on deaf ears.
“Hey, how about granting that…