Emmet the LEGO as Peter Quill an outlaw cowboy space pirate ladies man with a code name who leads a group of misfits known as the Guardians of the Galaxy against an evil guy who will stop at nothing to destroy the universe. This group of misfits includes a sexy green chic, a tree creature, a talking raccoon, a WWE wrestler, and the best part is they turn the MCU world upside down in one of the best summer blockbusters in recent memory. Mixtape. Brave mommy. SPACESHIP! Junker? A Blood Diamond baddie. Magic ball. When you forget the name of your one night stand before she leaves. Troll doll. Merle Dixon. The first time you see Rocket and Groot. Stan…

I cried. This is perfect. I am Groot. Nothing goes over Drax's head. He has excellent reflexes. Rocket isn't a raccoon. I am Groot. Star Lord? WHO? Sexy Aliens. I want The Inhumans film now. Stan Lee is a perv. Great film. I actually cried, genuine tears and the guy next to me too. He was crying, and we were crying and then we hugged because the film was so awesome and it's so emotional that I have actually seen this.

I am Groot. I am crying. This is great. I don't even care. Fuck you. The soundtrack is great and each of the characters are great too. Marvel's risk of actually making this film gives me great pleasure. And…

Just when I thought Marvel wouldn't be able to top Captain America: The Winter Soldier, along comes Guardians of the Galaxy.

Guardians of the Galaxy is easily Marvel's most unique and entertaining film to date. This film seriously has a massive pair of balls. It took risks that no other Marvel film has even come close to doing. And let me tell you, everything pretty much works. I am the first to admit that I prefer comic book films to be dark and have a serious tone. GOTG is the exact opposite, it's tone is goofy and it doesn't take itself seriously whatsoever. It fully embraces it's fun & goofiness and that's why I loved it so much. The majority of…

Picture this.

Sixteen years old. Walking into the latest Marvel movie you've heard nothing but great things for from friends to critics to fans to pretty much everyone. I've been anticipating this for awhile, but since that particular summer has left me quite cold, I didn't know what exactly to expect. Would this let me down and left me out of the fun, or would I end up in the same path as everyone else was following?

Well I ended up with the latter, but not exactly in the way I expected. See, when I came out, I honest to god said this might be my favorite movie of all time. And I kept saying this for months on end…

It's only been four days and I'm already tired of arguing with people about Guardians Of The Galaxy. So I say fuck this movie right in its 92% Rotten Tomatoes-approved-fresh ass. Sorry, does that offend you? Here you go, here's the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack to listen to while you read the rest of the review; apparently that can make everything better.

People like to criticize Hollywood for making the same movie over and over again. Apparently some of those same people happily line-up for Marvel films that literally do that exact thing. Guardians Of The Galaxy is the upteenth Marvel film about a [blank] that can destroy the universe, which [blank] tries to obtain, so [blank] must stop them. Fucking…