2013 Directed by Farren Blackburn
Action epic sees a passionate young man transform into a brutal warrior as he travels the unforgiving landscape in search of his long lost brother Hakan The Ferrocious, whose people are relying on him to restore order to their kingdom.
I won’t beat around the bush. ‘Hammer of the Gods’ was a slog. A dull and infuriating slog. It takes a subject matter I am interested in and delivers it in such a tedious manner that I contemplated turning it off at least once every minute of its runtime. For some reason the creators felt that our Viking protagonists needed to spout phrases such as “Go fuck yourself” or that their poorly choreographed fight sequence would go down a treat with a dubstep score…. I…. I Just…. Ugh. This film drove me to the edge of my patience and then chucked me off. The characters spent half the film walking from one place to the next and that was probably…
It is the Vikings versus the Britons in this truly bad movie. A Viking king is dying.....he has 4 sons...who will become the next king...by the end of the movie you will not care at all.....actually you will stop caring well before the end of the movie. The director must be a huge Peter Jackson fan as we get numerous walking through pretty location scenes in the movie. They actors do a great job walking.....just the movie gets really bad when they stop and do some acting. Don't make the mistake I made....avoid this one.
On pourrais argumenter que si il y a de la violence, ce ne peut pas être ennuyant. Et pourtant.
Pourquoi le dubstep sur des combats d'épées mal montés? Tu peux pas sauver ton film avec un laptop de 2008, sorry. Pourquoi le heavy metal degueu au milieu de nullepart? Pourquoi ecrire le nom des personnages a côté de leurs têtes dans les premières scènes? Ils vont le crier tout le long du film anyway.
Pourquoi ce film semble écris par un incel de 28 ans qui chiale parceque aucune filles veut le suçer pendant qu'il regarde le seigneur des anneaux?
Another Viking film on Netflix. Only just watched one a few days ago. Northmen
Quite a cool ending inspired by Apocalypse Now.
I came up with a life hack for Blu-ray collectors who have movies in their collection with cases that are cracked and broken: go to Dollar Tree and buy a few Blu-rays but just for the cases, toss out the discs and cover art in there already and replace them with your own. That’s what I did yesterday, and before I tossed out the disc for this movie, I figured I’d give it a watch just out of curiosity. Famous last words…..
God, this was dull. The scenery and locations this was made in look nice, I guess. But nice looking locations can’t make up for a crummy script, stale acting, action that isn't exciting at all, scenes that don’t…
Halfway through, I caught myself looking for apps on the Google play store to help make my dick pics look more appealing. And then I realized this hunk of shit was still playing in the background.
I LITERALLY FORGOT THIS MOVIE WAS STILL ON.
This sparse Viking saga makes the most of its modest budget but it's still a plodding, ponderous slog across a barren landscape with little action or excitement to speak of. The characters are the usual assortment of bickering, posturing macho dullards and underwritten disposable ciphers, all spouting 21st Century vernacular and profanities which become increasingly tedious and grating. Historical authenticity is clearly not a major concern here. The film eventually limps towards a sort of half-arsed Heart Of Darkness denouement where randomly enough 80's TV siren Glynis Barber makes an appearance. Ironic really, given this very much has the stale odour of bland, budgetry-deficient, straight to video also-rans of that era. Dour and repetitive, it's Valhalla Snoozing.
Una zozzeria del genere non la vedevo da un po', avevo proprio bisogno di guardare un film così orrendo. Non era facile girare scene d'azione così scialbe e confuse, e soprattutto non era così facile trovare un attore protagonista così scarso. Il tutto coadiuvato da una fotografia poco ispirata e a tratti fuori luogo.
Oh my god, that was aweful.
"Hammer Of The Gods" sees a group of vikings going on a journey and no additional details are really needed. One of them is looking for his brother. Blabla.
The look badly mimics "Valhalla Rising" as does some of the soundtrack and the plot. But no intriguing symbolism is to be found here and definetly no great acting, especially not on a Mads Mikkelsen level and of course also no Refn worthy cinematography.
It also borrows shamelessly from "Apocalypse Now" (well from "Heart of Darkness") but as the execution of everything is piss poor and there's barely any proper characterisation that is another inspiration that feels offensive. Not good.
The opening action sequence establishes…
Circa Britain 870 AD, Norse Prince Steinar searches for his brother Hakan the Ferocious who, according to the his father King Bagsecg is the “Hammer of the God”! Hakan would lead his people into war and would win! As Steinar goes on his quest to find Hanson his followers are Jokul, Grim, Hagen, his half-brother Vail and the infamous Ivar The Boneless, who would fight to the deaths to reach their ultimate goal! The ruthless brother Harald wants to stop Steinar from finding Hakan the Ferocious for he wants to be the next King of their people! Harald sends Saxon to kill his brother and his own people the Viking and to hinder or stop the quest! But even with the best laid plans, you will find that things doesn’t always goes as you plan! And today, a different man will be crowned King!
