Film #4 of Gustav's M.National Shyamalan-a-thon

I thought about it, but honestly could not arrive at an answer. I do not know what was going through M.Night’s mind when he came up with this idea. Even more baffling is what gave him the impression that this would work and be accepted. The concept is total bollocks. The juxtaposition of fairy tale elements along with reality simply does not work here, as all the characters are mere devices, cardboard-like, uninteresting, ill-conceived, and dreadfully executed. They come off looking utterly dim-witted as they are shown to comfortably believe in such fatuous happenings.

Part of my frustration stems from the fact that the film did not even deliver on the promise of an…

This corpse has been picked over plenty, and while I'll stipulate that it's a bit undercooked and pretty silly, on a rewatch I think it's one of those things you just have to deliberately slide into, which makes sense given that it's all of a piece with SIGNS and THE VILLAGE in its depiction of an insular community or group united by belief. You can choose to read Bob Balaban's character as a snipe at all critics, or you can take it as a representation of blanket, unfeeling skepticism. Up to you. Anyway, Shyamalan may exhibit all manner of ill-advised creative hubris but that doesn't mask his exceptional capabilities as a visual filmmaker. It's hard to make an ugly movie…

I often talk about how much I want an adaptation of Stephen King's Lisey's Story but Lady In The Water is pretty much the... exact vibe for me. Super important that almost every shot before the Lady is introduced is obstructed - there is something missing from the lives of everybody in this, the decreasing length of Shyamalan's shots slowly finding the core of what makes these people tick - but this isn't a film about people; it's about conflict (involving people). If the Water is purity/the capacity to imagine & believe/where all myth comes from then the Land - the location of our narrative - is a blight on the freedom of half-lit 'truer' perception. Just look at how this…

Lady In The Water dragged me down to its watery grave. The start of the relentless downhill slope that is Shyamalan's career, this fantasy drama is murkier than polluted swamp water. What did I just witness? Seriously, I mean seriously! This isn't a film, it's a production that conveys his self-indulgence as he, not only writes, produces and directs this atrocity, but also plays a supporting role to which his character is a "visionary whose writing changes the world". That's not even the worst part! Right, so a superintendent of an apartment complex encounters a young girl in the swimming pool who he discovers to be a water nymph whose life is endangered by a beastly wolf creature. So, the…

The one star is for cinematography, which was the only thing I somewhat liked in this movie. Either it's a brilliant masterpiece and I'm too dumb to appreciate it, or it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Everything felt so forced that I only pushed through this movie in the hope to find something good about it - spoiler alert: I didn't. Every line, every character and every event was absolutely terrible and served the only purpose of justifying and driving forward the plot. It felt like they jotted down the first plot idea they came with, and instead of building a story properly they started writing random things to make that story happen with no care for…