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"See you in space, Mr. Machete."
What happens when you put Vanessa Hudgens, Michelle Rodriguez, Alexa Vega, Sofia Vergara, and the Crazy Babysitter Twins into the same movie? Well, aside from the weird feeling in my groin area, you get a really stupid and fun action movie, that's what.
Machete Kills stars Danny Trejo, as himself, on a mission from the president of the United States, Charlie Sheen. President Sheen wants Trejo to enter Mexico and kill a crazy guy named Mendez (Bichir). In exchange for killing Mendez, the President offers Trejo a U.S. citizenship as well as clearing up any past criminal activity; y'know, just like any other great president would do.