Something's just a little miscalibrated here and it fucks up the whole movie.
On paper I bet this script sings. The first ten minutes leap frog from weird encounter to weird encounter between the two leads, like When Harry Met Sally has been accelerated for the smartphone attention span. And it's interesting!
They meet at camp in their teens, they bump into each other at a frat party, and Portman takes him to her dad's funeral all in quick succession. It'd be fun and quirky if their chemistry was magnetic. Instead, neither lead comes off as very interesting and Kutcher actively has a bizarre uncharm.
There are a few key moments in here that Kutcher just ruins with his mop-haired…