LOTS OF SPOILERS
The Road To Halloween - Eliminating The Horror 'Classics'
Let me save you an 85 minutes of your life by detailing what happens in Paranormal Activity, because I know practically no-one has seen this.
* A few minutes of boring crap.
* Some noises.
* A few more minutes of drivel.
* A door moves.
* More cack and a psychic pops round.
* JUMP SCARE.
* Bit more crap.
* Katy Perry goes for a wander.
* Oh look, someone switched the fucking telly on. They never put it on a broadcasting channel, do they?
* He's busted out the sodding Ouija board. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN.
* Some tedious arguing and pointless wank.