Synopsis
Sisters Yoshie and Kikue are two Geisha who are abducted by a mysterious organization to be transformed into murderous cyborg assassins.
RoboGeisha
2009 ‘ロボゲイシャ’ Directed by Noboru Iguchi
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I don't even know what the fuck
The trailer for this movie is easily 200+ times better than the movie itself.
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New fave to be quite honest, this has everything you could ever ask for out of a movie and things you didn't know you needed in a movie that you actually did. Breast milk from hell, butt-swords, Robo-castles that would honestly give Godzilla a run for his money, sisterly catfights galore, + despite that almost every time someone uses a gun they miss horribly, most of the fight choreography is good. Tons of whacky effects, light on gore but heavy on crazy.
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"Three minutes? Three minutes is about the same time you would take to do a shit and find some shit leftover on the paper!"
"What?"RoboGeisha is a fantastic combination of low budget CGI, kaiju, martial arts and '90's Power Rangers cheese.
Great fun from the crazy side of Japanese cinema.
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5 stars
best use of the robot dance ever
10 stars
best ever scene of someone whipping out a guitar
100 stars
the soft-spoken bang-bang-bang
10,000 stars
stinky Japanese bros
314,653,772 stars
buildings spurting blood
all stars RoboGeisha all stars
all stars
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I was just starting to figure out that these zany Sushi Typhoon designer imposter nu-Japanese genre films were consistently disappointing when RoboGeisha came out. Something about IT looked more fun or perhaps stylish than it's brothers and sisters. Still, I forget the chronology of my experience with these comedies but I was very pessimistic, so I waited. There has been an internal battle for an entire decade. It had to end.
And it is a better than it's brothers and sisters by my measure. It's pretty, dainty at times, neon at others. There were some genuine laughs in there but I think the tone of this humor is just a little too shrill for me. I totally support the novelty…
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Posing the question: What if instead of going to the Ball and marrying the handsome prince Cinderella instead allowed the handsome prince to turn her into a part cybernetic Geisha Assassin to appease the maniacal whim of his evil father? Writer/Director Noboru Iguchi's RoboGeisha is an OTT adult Tokusatsu B picture that, thankfully, never takes itself even a little bit seriously.
Not as tight or as consistent as to his previous years Machine Girl, Noboru Iguchi's follow up doubles down on the proto Sushi Typhoon madness and offers a lot to laugh along with. At its best when revelling in the great Yoshihiro Nishimura's special effects and the ridiculous humour of machine gun breasts or butt swords, there's sadly a…
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"Eat this breast milk from hell!"
'RoboGeisha' is a sci-fi action B-movie, with a lot of over-the-top action and gore in a similar style as 'Machine Girl' and 'Tokyo Gore Police'.
In these kind of movies, the story is subordinate to the style, action and effects.
The majority of the effects here are of the CGI kind and are quite a sore for the eyes.
But because the movie doesn't take itself real serious, it becomes part of the "so bad it's good" aesthetic.
Some of the practical effects are done quite well (for instance, the "shrimps to the eyes" effect is impressive).
Compared to 'Tokyo Gore Police', I found 'RoboGeisha' to be bit tame when it comes to gore and shock value! -
”I’m sorry but we must kill you with our breast milk from hell!”
Another comedy-sci-fi-horror epic from writer-director and schlock-merchant Noboru Iguchi. This one is about a ruthless corporation that turns geisha girls into cyborgs, using them to assassinate anyone who might oppose it. RoboGeisha harkens back to early-70s’ Japanese exploitation cinema, when girl gangs reigned supreme, titillating but mainly terrorising their male counterparts.
The film’s trainee geishas – or more correctly, maikos – are taught to fight, as well as dance and sing in traditional garb, and they’re ruthlessly marshalled by a couple of super-aggressive female Tengu, who wouldn’t be out of place in A Clockwork Orange, which is apropos since this is a film featuring ultra-violence.
Weapons de…
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"We're not wearing these T-shirts to be fashionable."
Pure Japanese insanity. Even the worst of these films offers something that makes me scratch my head and wonder what prompted that thought...
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BITCH GEISHAS DIE!
I love the giant robot castle and the titular RoboGeisha's Mario Kart leg transformation!! #RoboGirlBoss
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“I am the cast-iron courtesan, the RoboGeisha!”
I’m always up for more of Japanese super-trash director Noboru Iguchi’s nonsense and RoboGeisha might be my favorite of his yet. This is, obviously, hot garbage from start to finish, but it’s a patently ridiculous, peerlessly fun and endlessly watchable piece of hot garbage. This is classic Iguchi.
Caught somewhere between Machine Girl and La Femme Nikita, RoboGeisha chronicles the story of two sisters kidnapped in secret by a sinister organization that turns young women into cybernetic assassins. What ensues is madcap gorefest built from top to bottom out of absolute nonsense. There’s sword fights, giant robots, gratuitous gore and cyborg based shenanigans limited only by this film’s admittedly terrible, but equally amusing…