For years, Hollywood and the surrounding Culture Wars have asked a question: Do Critics Matter? It's a frankly boring question, but the main anxiety has developed out of a growing disconnect between Rotten Tomatoes Favorites and the American Box Office. But Disney and their expanding intellectual properties have put a new spin on this story: critics don't matter, but studios deliberately position / design films to harness their words in order to enter The Cultural Conversation. Their movies are no longer meant to be experienced; only consumed in order to generate more content. Whether this translates to dollars (especially abroad), I'm less sure. But I am sure of one thing: reviews of Rogue One are designed to write themselves.

Rogue…

The last 45 minutes are worth the price of admission alone. But I'm sad to say the first two acts are pretty "meh" to be honest. People are really comparing this to The Empire Strikes Back? To each their own, but I don't get that whatsoever. Rogue One isn't even in the same ballpark as The Force Awakens for that matter. This films biggest issue is the lack of interesting characters. The characters are what makes Star Wars my favorite movie franchise. Sadly, in my opinion Rogue One doesn't have any. After seeing Force Awakens Rey and Finn stuck with me for days after seeing TFA because they were superbly written. I can't say the same for the characters in…

Rogue One had one mission: To tell a vital story in the Star Wars Cinematic Universe. Mission accomplished!

While The Force Awakens catered to fanboys and the all important toy sales; Rogue One, well, goes rogue. Yes, we have a few familiar faces. Yes, there's mad homage to future events in New Hope. But, it's not obvious, and it doesn't get in the way of developing the main characters in Rogue One. 

Speaking of characters. Finally, Donnie Yen has entered the building to the average Western Hemisphere movie watcher. I've loved Donnie for years, and in my opinion, he's the breakout superstar as the blind bootleg Jedi, Chirrut Imwe. I can't forget Felicity Jones' heroic turn as Jyn Erso. The…

if you want to know what someone is really like, ask them who their rogue one crush is & then consult this handy chart:

Cassian Andor
-thinks they want a bad boy but wouldn't actually be able to handle being with a bad boy

Bodhi Rook
-is constantly anxious but does a pretty good job at hiding it

Jyn Erso
-boring
OR
-straight guy who just picked her because of the lack of options (yes, obviously felicity jones is beautiful, but a crush is based on personality as well, which is something jyn completely lacks)

Galen Erso
-has for sure jacked off to Hannibal (TV Series 2013-2015) 

Darth Vader
-into, like, bondage & shit

K-2SO
-a 7 year old who doesn't really…