Popular reviews

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  Review by josh lewis ★★★★ 5

  "i think WWII was my favorite war."

  a film that investigates the ways we sell war to young boys under the guise of "action" by having action figures literally ingest the brutal policies and tactics of the american military ("how could they be dangerous? everything on 'em are standardized!") due to ludicrously overt corporatism and militarism—the enemy line of "monsters" they create to affirm the existence of the army ones are even pacifists, simply seeking a homeland. dante expertly weaves the cutesy domestic spielberg movie with the use of war movie tropes/imagery to create a microcosm that is at once disarmingly adorable (every wide shot of an intricately designed makeshift vehicle traversing a lawn is hilarious) and genuinely horrifying; as…

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  Review by Gabriel Gundacker 6

  This is the first movie I remember begging my mother to go see. She had read some reviews that claimed it was too violent and would scare me. She did not understand that my fear gland was already filled to the brim by a few seconds of an alien doc I had seen on Discovery while channel flipping. 

  I eventually got it on VHS a few months later and wore the tape to the bone. They should’ve let the kids review this movie! It’s often posited children have a “unique insight”, maybe there is truth to that... This movie is too fun to be scary. It is violent absolutely, but it does not condescend like so many other children’s movies do, and all of its darkness is morally justified.

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  Review by SilentDawn ★★★★ 5

  78

  A desecration of hollow, toothless American values. Joe Dante is as sharp as ever in this mix of militarized corporate absurdity and cartoon seige picture. He has such a knack for small-scale mayhem, and the effects are top-tier: you hardly see the seams.

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  Review by theriverjordan ★★★½ 46

  “Small Soldiers” teaches children valuable life lessons about: conflict resolution, sharing, and the social degradation resulting from an unchecked military industrial complex. 

  Joe Dante’s movie about toy commandos that come to life was widely critiqued on release for being too frightening for its kiddie target audience. 

  Well, you know what else is frightening, children? War. 

  You don’t get to play with the toy plastic guns unless you know what the real things do, so director Dante is here to give the youngins an education on militaristic imperialism. 

  This is not, at all, a glib take on Dante’s talking action figure flick. It is, without exaggeration or satire, the actual message of “Small Soldiers,” which features battling figurines who are strapped…

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  Review by Joe ★★★★ 1

  "It's a baton death march!"

  The big budget children's entertainment of the 1990s is the savage attack on American values of the 21st century. I would have been 10 when I saw this in theaters (I remember it was the first time I heard anyone use the expression "it sucks"), and at the time I was surprised to see the titular soldiers revealed to be the villains of the piece, but I was too young to really appreciate the (barely) subtext about consumerism, capitalism, militarism, and the disgusting babies the three make together. This is about a giant, unambiguously evil corporation selling a false narrative to kids, about heroic soldiers who are actually bloodthirsty dunderheads fighting against evil monsters who…

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  Review by matt lynch ★★★½ 1

  "We have met the enemy, and he is you!"

  you know that sneaking suspicion you had that corporate/military hegemony was slowly supplanting your rights and accumulating your property?

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  Review by Blake ★★★★

  One time, when I was a kid and really sick, I had a fever-induced nightmare that the commandos from this movie were crawling up my bed to kill me. 

  4/5 microprocessors

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  Review by Ethan Ethan ★★★★ 2

  I feel bad for anyone who hasn't seen this as a kid.

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  Review by Willow Maclay ★★★½

  Of the 3 popular films about war from 1998 (The Thin Red Line, Saving Private Ryan, Small Soldiers) Small Soldiers is the smartest, and maybe the best. Dante skewers the military, capitalism, and toy companies all while keeping a black comic tone. Severely unappreciated film.

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  Review by Jake Cole ★★★★½

  Seriously one of the best films of the '90s. And I'm always amused at how slyly Dante digs at Spielberg. This is as scattered in its war movie references as Saving Private Ryan, but it has a coherence of vision and theme than Spielberg's confused war movie, not to mention a far deeper and more insidious message.

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  Review by Rafael Jovine ★★★★ 12

  Action! – Three Auteurs: Dante’s Zany Inferno

  Hello childhood, my old friend.

  Well, I’ve finally arrive to the two movies that unbeknownst to me, introduced me to this gentleman known as Joe Dante. This one in particular was my own personal Toy Story growing up. While I’ve watched the original two Pixar groundbreaking films before, something about the edginess of this clear response to the Tom Hanks/Tim Allen starrer movies, always caught my attention. I believe at a point I actually owned this movie on VHS or rented a lot or watched it on TV whenever they played on TV.

  Starting up while I agree with many of the critics at the time this movie isn’t precisely a laugh machine,…

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  Review by Elwood B. ★★★★ 4

  "We are the Commando Elite. Everything else is just a toy!"
  - Chip Hazard
  
  Joe Dante cementing his status as the greatest tiny-creature feature director known to man. It also marks an event, that was long overdue up to that point, which is Jay Mohr getting punched in the face, but maybe that's just me. Otherwise great SNL-star-performances, especially by the fantastic Phil Hartman, in his final appearance (before getting shot by his wife).

  Just like Gremlins, the ingredients ratio of fun and severity is perfectly calibrated. Great watch.