Civilization has gone to shit. It's too cold to survive due to extremely bad weather. Humanity has been reduced to a train. The train has a class system of its own that is heavily divided between the rich and the poor. The rich prey on the poor in many ways. When enough is enough Captain America leads a ragtag group of rebels to the front of the train in Joon-ho Bong's English language debut. Al Gore was right? Chris Evans's beanie. Handy hands. Pound down. Spud? The Help. Billy Elliot's ears. Wearing yellow makes you look even fatter. Snow torture. Tilda's teeth. Hammer time. John Hurt is the shit. Extreme Russian Roulette. Parkour? The Weird without The Good and The…

Snowpiercer is a film that manages to stay on track for most of its bloated running time, only to steam ahead towards an inevitable derailment.

Right, now that I've got all the train related puns out of the way, let's talk about this wonderful mess of a film.

As ridiculous as the premise is, Joon-ho Bong's film is fiercely dedicated to it. It starts of with a grimy, disgusting view of life in the tail end of the train that holds the last of humanity. We quickly meet the archetypes required for a story like this. The reluctant hero, the old wise man, the young dog, they're all there. But the way we are introduced to them is where the…

Snowpiercer is dense, more so than I had anticipated, its plot initially fuelled by the heated emotions that run through the titular train’s lowest class culture, a desperation for a revolution, to finally end the suffering that has plagued them for 17 years. Its tail to head journey is led by the headstrong Curtis (Chris Evans), radiating leadership and intelligence, appointed by the people as their front in their trials towards the engine, which is manufactured and controlled by a man named Wilford (Ed Harris), a visionary who saw the end of our world in the horizon, constructing a train that is capable of self-sustainment and endurance from the harsh cold climate that exists beyond the train’s walls.

In its…

Probably one of the best contemporary films about classism, driven by an overarching metaphor/microcosm for both the present and the future. All of the performances are great, as well as the direction, cinematography, and editing being superb. This is the kind of film that I would classify as being important, the kind of film that young adults should watch and learn from. Better yet, it has an appeal for all audiences, because of the fact that it works quite well as both an allegorical film for art-house audiences, and a brilliant action movie for those in seek of top-notch, clever entertainment. It's not a horror movie, but it is a scary one, for it reeks of the truth living within…

This could've been a very decent video game. Obviously, this isn't a nice thing to say. Or at least it isn't meant to be.

The film lives off of a compelling, though not entirely original idea - watching this movie constantly reminded me of one of my favourite books: The Yellow Arrow by Victor Pelevin, despite the book being much more... philosophical. It was such a constant reminder, in fact, that, after finishing the film, I went on and re-read the book in one sitting, because I wanted to be able to compare them. Read the book. It's good.

Away with the tangents: Snowpiercer lacks a clear stylistic direction; it seems to be this weird experiment of mixing Burton's Charlie…