Popular reviews

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  Review by Gregory⛧Joseph ★★★½ 7

  Rutger Hauer shows his badge to a dog, and not as a bit.

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  Review by Todd Gaines ★★★½ 25

  Rutger Hauer as a chain smokin' coffee addicted detective on the hunt for a brutal bootleg Dr. Lecter-esque serial killer in this futuristic Sci-Fi thriller. Ass wiggle. Nice doggie. Piss watcher. Titty shake. Pete Postlethwaite is the motherfucker and the awesomeness level is maxed out when Pete and Rutger share the screen. Detective Dick? Se7en-esque delivery. Did Rutger wear the same shades in The Hitcher? Either way, he wears shades like a boss. Why would you ask Rutger for his ID? Do you want him to beat your ass? Toothbrush. The way Rutger blows shit up. Mark of the Beast? Kim Cattrall before menopause. When Detective Dick touches Rutger. Steamy shower steam. Fuck! Rutger's gun makes Dirty Harry's .44 look…

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  Review by Kaijuman ★★★★ 6

  “We need to get bigger guns. Big Fucking Guns!”

  The plot to Split Second could very well be a generic buddy cop movie of the time. An unhinged cop (Rutger Hauer) is teamed up with a book smart rookie (Alastair Duncan) to track down a serial killer who murdered Rutger Hauer’s previous partner years ago. Director Tony Maylam (The Burning) shakes things up by placing the story in a flooded futuristic London and making the serial killer a possibly demonic creature who absorbs the DNA of its victims and knows how to wield a shotgun!

  So yeah, the plot’s weird. The movie knows that and runs with the idea. London doesn’t look as dystopian as the movie would have you…

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  Review by Rafael "Parker!!" Jovine ★★★½ 2

  Ok, but why does "Satan" looks like a cross between a Xenomorph and Venom?

  One of those films I put to my queue without knowing what it was about, so when all the gore started to show on screen, so it was quite surprising. Hauer, to no one's surprise, played a cool, badass officer or something on a quest to get retribution for the gruesome death of a loved one. Duncan is the stereotypical bumbling sidekick who clashes with his forceful partner and serves mostly as comedic relief. The dynamic between the two works, yet it feels a little derivative. The action and hilarity are just enough to keep you entertained. The make-up job is fantastic, but I'm a little…

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  Review by Josh Lewis ★★★ 2

  very weird movie i'm not sure totally works but has some decent fx work and ambitious camera moves as rutger hauer in a 2008 london decimated by global warming chases around a giant serial-killing xenomorph devil that fires shotguns, yeets people out of buildings and Temple of Doom's them so he can take a bite out of their heart and harvest their soul or something? again, weird movie. thank u rutger for ending global warming

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  Review by Blake Bergman "Various Spaghetti" ★★★★ 2

  "Split Second" is futuristic science fiction monster movie that plays heavily into themes of action. Additionally, it has the build of a buddy cop element, that takes a bit to get going but connects in the conventional sense eventually. Set in a flooded London future world of 2008, society is apparently full of sleaze and rats. Rutger Hauer's main character of Harley Stone is a stone-faced cop that carries around big guns and an even bigger chip on his shoulder for crime. Unfortunately for him, there is a serial killer on the loose that literally possesses the ability to rip people's heart out. Stone, who was previously suspended for exerting too much force, is seen as the only man for…

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  Review by matt lynch ★★½ 1

  Entirely worth it for a very amusingly erratic Rutger Hauer as the world's most charmlessly abrasive supercop, but most of this is a dreary, ugly, barely stylized slog that builds to a clearly under-budgeted disappointment of a monster. Now I remember why I even found this dull as a teenager.

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  Review by Tears_in_Rain ★★★★ 21

  Why had I forgotten about this for so long? Did I not fully appreciate this in my younger days? This is some glorious trash from the early 90s. You could think of it as a weird, low-budget mashup of Alien and Blade Runner, but I honestly think this is straight-up ripping off the Polymorph episode of Red Dwarf, from series 3. I mean, Rutger Hauer so reminds me of Lister after he's had his fear sucked out of him. An excessively macho slob who can't wait to scrap with a monster, stomping around in tight corridors with a giant gun and snapping at every other character. And his partner is essentially Rimmer after he's had his anger sucked out, except…

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  Review by Dan Abel ★★★½

  "A serial killer murdered his partner, Foster, three years ago. He was there when it happened. Plain guilt. Had an affair with Foster's wife. Left her, hit the booze, went over the edge. Now he lives on anxiety, coffee, and chocolate."

  London 2008. Detective Stone may be suspended but he's still "on the job." While tailing a serial killer on his own time he gets distracted and a girl ends up dead. Stone's methods may be troublesome but he's still the best there is so his suspension is lifted and he is officially tasked with finding and putting an end to the killer once and for all. The further he gets toward solving the case and obtaining his obsession the…

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  Review by ScreeningNotes ★★★ 6

  "Satan is in deep shit."

  Split Second is a joyously bonkers dystopian action flick which marks one of the widest divisions between personal enjoyment and overall quality I've experienced in a film which is still basically functional. It's not as bad as The Asylum's output, but it's definitely in b-movie territory: the acting is pretty competent, but the characters are all one dimensional; the effects are well orchestrated, but look obvious and fake; the story is small enough to hold itself together, but makes very little sense if you stop to think about it. But it's so overflowing with style and chock-full of hilarious idiosyncrasies that I just fell in love with it.

  Harley Stone (Rutger Hauer) is a police…

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  Review by YI JIAN ★★★★★

  Black coffee black shades black coat black shirt black pants black socks in black boots and a big black .450 magnum, cool on cool on cool, only big guns and bigger guns. Rutger Hauer plays as Mr. Harley, Mr. Stone Cold, Mr. Detective, Mr. I Work Alone, Mr. Takes No Shit, Mr. Crazy with a Fucking Handcannon. It's not funny, do you think that's funny? Well, it's not, it's not funny. It's dirty, it's bloody, it's metal, it's claustrophobic and ultimately, the main selling point is that it's a buddy cop movie with a twist -- both cops get to lose their shit together.

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  Review by threepenny ★★½ 4

  Never start making a movie when you're still designing the monster. That way, you don't end up with a monster with 4-inch claws on each finger but yet is supposed to have unbuttoned a man's shirt, carved symbols on his chest, buttoned it back up, and tied the man's hands with his own tie and stuffed him into a trunk. Not actually physically possible, not with those claws he didn't.

  Rutger Hauer is out of control but keeping a straight face no matter how much chocolate he eats or sugar he puts in his coffee or if he flashes his badge to a dog or if his partner is named Dick Durkin. He sticks chocolate onto his filthy refrigerator in…