Popular reviews

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  Review by indi ★★ 7

  you: george lucas can’t write dialogue
  me, absolutely tearing myself apart with hysterical laughter after witnessing c3po’s disembodied head look sadly at his body and say “i’m beside myself” in a dejected tone: you fools. you absolute lowbrow heathens. how could you not understand the depth of this message

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  Review by BRAT ★★½ 20

  i'm convinced that anakin subconsciously used the force to make padme slowly fall in love with him because there's simply no way a queen/galactic senator would EVER get with a creepy, whiny child murderer with a mini ponytail

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  Review by Addison 23

  Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.

  "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.

  Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.

  "Got a spare?" she asks.

  "What's in it for me?" I say as I…

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  Review by Wes ★★★½ 2

  Nothing gets me more hot and bothered then when I'm on a romantic picnic with a guy at a scenic waterfall retreat and he tells me he supports a fascist regime.

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  Review by IHE ½ 161

  Still can’t decide if this or the phantom menace is worse. Who cares, they’re both hilarious!

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  Review by James (Schaffrillas) ★ 139

  This is such a fucking trainwreck in every conceivable way. I legitimately wanted to vomit watching Padme fall in love with a literal sociopath who murders not just the men, but the women, and the children too. This is the worst Star Wars film by a country mile. At least it has memes

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  Review by Wes ★★★ 7

  this movie is pretty cool but i cant help but think about how better it would be if it was an arthouse lesbian romantic drama about padme and one of her handmaidens running away from the war to start a farm together in the outer rim and they lived happily ever after away from anakins bullshit

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  Review by SilentDawn ★★★★½ 88

  89/100

  George Lucas's Star Wars saga - a mythological amalgamation of Kurosawa, F.W. Murnau, Flash Gordon etc. - is radicalized through the vivid prospect of advancing technology. If the evolution of film form is just as dependent on the gear as the artists behind the camera, then Lucas is undoubtedly one of the greats (even when casting aside box office totals and, to quote Spaceballs, "merchandizing, merchandizing, merchandizing!"), but Lucas weaves tech progression into the narrative itself. While The Phantom Menace was a visceral puzzle piece birthed out of 70s blockbuster ingenuity, then Attack of the Clones is a heads-first operatic dive into the sunset of a society, a galaxy, a government. Its politics are ambiguous and undefined - as…

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  Review by Jay ★½ 7

  padme: *falls out of ship*

  anakin: no! I have to go after her-

  *realises she’s fallen into a pile of sand*

  anakin: guess she’ll die

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  Review by SilentDawn ★★★★½ 10

  89

  "Oh my goodness! Shut me down. Machines building machines. How perverse."

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  Review by Mario ★★★½ 16

  In this house we believe in Hayden Christensen supremacy.

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  Review by Neil Bahadur ★★★★½ 5

  "If Attack Of The Clones remains the least satisfying of Lucas’s four Star Wars films on a dramatic level, it’s made up for by its being the most formally inventive of the entire series, and the most experimental structurally. Furthermore, it represents perhaps the peak of Lucas’s skills as inventor. While The Phantom Menace was still shot on 35mm, on locations and studio sets, AOTC is filmed almost entirely with green-screen, rejecting a filmed ‘reality’ for fully integrated CGI spaces and characters. Whereas the prior film integrated artificial characters into ‘real’ spaces, this second film now integrates ‘real’ people into artificial worlds. Taken in this sense, Attack Of The Clones is not only a revolutionary work, but one of the single most influential films of the 21st Century. "

  Again, Lucas cannot properly be analyzed with words alone, more here:

  nbahadur.tumblr.com/post/154625514699/if-attack-of-the-clones-remains-the-least