you: george lucas can’t write dialogue
me, absolutely tearing myself apart with hysterical laughter after witnessing c3po’s disembodied head look sadly at his body and say “i’m beside myself” in a dejected tone: you fools. you absolute lowbrow heathens. how could you not understand the depth of this message

That little green fella from the Vodafone ads must be desperate for money to appear in this shit.

i'm convinced that anakin subconsciously used the force to make padme slowly fall in love with him because there's simply no way a queen/galactic senator would EVER get with a creepy, whiny child murderer with a mini ponytail

45/100

Caught this on TV in France when I was on vacation a couple years ago, and even though I could hardly understand a word of the dubbed version, I was enraptured by its images and its miraculous sense of sound design (those Seismic Charges tho). Watching it with the dialogue intact is frustrating, especially because Lucas' vision is so grand and ambitious. It's like watching a child trying to put a puzzle together. You want to help them along the way, but it is essential that the child works through it on their own. The uneasiness comes from the idea that they'll never solve the puzzle.

Sand.

Every so often I'll pop in one of the prequels just to sit back and have a good time. They make me laugh, cringe, sit on the edge of my seat, etc. It's a spectacle. I think moviegoers are simply too cynical for this type of no-holds-barred space fantasy. Or expectations were too high. I'm not blind to its faults, but it is imaginative and ambitious. Ruined by meme-ers.

I also love the big middle finger to the audience from George Lucas when Jar Jar walks across the screen and smiles into the camera. Classic.

what a drag

the clones attacked

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones is a slow, incoherent mess of a film that is often dull and bland. The story is unintersting, boring, and only serves to start the Clone War. This film brings shame to the Star Wars Saga.

The romance scenes in this are painful to sit through, which really distracts from the rest of the movie actually kind of ruling. The Obi-Wan plot fucks and Geonosis is dope.

I’d probably like this film a lot more but so much of it rests on the Anakin/Padme romance which never really works. In fact I think Natalie Portman may have had better chemistry with the ten year old boy in Phantom Menance.


This installment of girlfriend pointing out plot holes I had either never considered or was in denial of: What is Dooku’s aim in telling Obi Wan about Sidious controlling the Senate?

the one star is for the one and only star of this film, Ewan McGregor

Don’t like this film.