Synopsis
A Jedi Shall Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.
Following an assassination attempt on Senator Padmé Amidala, Jedi Knights Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi investigate a mysterious plot that could change the galaxy forever.
2002 Directed by George Lucas
Following an assassination attempt on Senator Padmé Amidala, Jedi Knights Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi investigate a mysterious plot that could change the galaxy forever.
Hayden Christensen Ewan McGregor Natalie Portman Christopher Lee Samuel L. Jackson Frank Oz Ian McDiarmid Pernilla August Temuera Morrison Jimmy Smits Jack Thompson Leeanna Walsman Ahmed Best Rose Byrne Oliver Ford Davies Ron Falk Jay Laga'aia Andy Secombe Anthony Daniels Silas Carson Ayesha Dharker Daniel Logan Joel Edgerton Bonnie Piesse Anthony Phelan Rena Owen Alethea McGrath Susie Porter Matt Doran Show All…
George Lucas Rick McCallum Lorne Orleans Stephen Jones Abdelaziz Ben Mlouka Guido Cerasuolo Pedro Ma De Ugarte
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you: george lucas can’t write dialogue
me, absolutely tearing myself apart with hysterical laughter after witnessing c3po’s disembodied head look sadly at his body and say “i’m beside myself” in a dejected tone: you fools. you absolute lowbrow heathens. how could you not understand the depth of this message
i'm convinced that anakin subconsciously used the force to make padme slowly fall in love with him because there's simply no way a queen/galactic senator would EVER get with a creepy, whiny child murderer with a mini ponytail
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I…
Still can’t decide if this or the phantom menace is worse. Who cares, they’re both hilarious!
Nothing gets me more hot and bothered then when I'm on a romantic picnic with a guy at a scenic waterfall retreat and he tells me he supports a fascist regime.
89/100
George Lucas's Star Wars saga - a mythological amalgamation of Kurosawa, F.W. Murnau, Flash Gordon etc. - is radicalized through the vivid prospect of advancing technology. If the evolution of film form is just as dependent on the gear as the artists behind the camera, then Lucas is undoubtedly one of the greats (even when casting aside box office totals and, to quote Spaceballs, "merchandizing, merchandizing, merchandizing!"), but Lucas weaves tech progression into the narrative itself. While The Phantom Menace was a visceral puzzle piece birthed out of 70s blockbuster ingenuity, then Attack of the Clones is a heads-first operatic dive into the sunset of a society, a galaxy, a government. Its politics are ambiguous and undefined - as…
this movie is pretty cool but i cant help but think about how better it would be if it was an arthouse lesbian romantic drama about padme and one of her handmaidens running away from the war to start a farm together in the outer rim and they lived happily ever after away from anakins bullshit
This is such a fucking trainwreck in every conceivable way. I legitimately wanted to vomit watching Padme fall in love with a literal sociopath who murders not just the men, but the women, and the children too. This is the worst Star Wars film by a country mile. At least it has memes
"If Attack Of The Clones remains the least satisfying of Lucas’s four Star Wars films on a dramatic level, it’s made up for by its being the most formally inventive of the entire series, and the most experimental structurally. Furthermore, it represents perhaps the peak of Lucas’s skills as inventor. While The Phantom Menace was still shot on 35mm, on locations and studio sets, AOTC is filmed almost entirely with green-screen, rejecting a filmed ‘reality’ for fully integrated CGI spaces and characters. Whereas the prior film integrated artificial characters into ‘real’ spaces, this second film now integrates ‘real’ people into artificial worlds. Taken in this sense, Attack Of The Clones is not only a revolutionary work, but one of the single most influential films of the 21st Century. "
Again, Lucas cannot properly be analyzed with words alone, more here:
nbahadur.tumblr.com/post/154625514699/if-attack-of-the-clones-remains-the-least
That little green fella from the Vodafone ads must be desperate for money to appear in this shit.
Not very good, the CGI sucks ass like Phantom Menace. I like it more than Episode I, I think it’s a lot less boring, the cringe and the edginess make it more endearing. I thought the Obi Wan stuff was cool and the love story is okay sometimes. Why didn’t they go back for Anakin’s mom sooner?
Anakin: I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I HATE THEM.
Padme: It’s okay to be angry :P
literally so bad i would say more but watching it was so draining and now i have to go to sleep. hayden christianson and natalie portman are hot though
I mean, in hindsight, the theme of "alienated incel is angsty and goes on a killing spree against a marginalized group" aged well, which is unfortunate. god Anakin sucks as a character. run away Natalie Portman! run away!
the star.5 is for the following:
-I enjoy that both leads from ONCE WERE WARRIORS (1994) have roles in this movie. In my house, we stan Temuera Morrison, Rena Owen, and Kiwi cinema. Once Taika Waititi starts directing, Star Wars' journey to the Kiwi side will be complete.
-Ewan McGregor, well whaddaya know!
-have to say the songs on the soundtrack kinda slap – magnificent aren't they?
-memes from this movie have held their value.
how messed up in your mind do you have to be to fall in love (after about a week) with a whiny psychotic creep and tell him how deeply in love you are with him only a couple hours after he tells you he slaughtered an entire tribe of tusken raiders (the women and the children too)
if your first crush growing up was anakin you are either hot as fuck now or mentally ill aka me
It feels so lonely liking this movie as much as I do. Oh well. I’ll die on this hill if I have to.
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