Popular reviews

• 

  Review by Josh Lewis ★★★ 7

  i can't get over the scene in this where the robot fighter drone goes HAL 9000 and starts doing war crimes on middle eastern civilians while ominously, diegetically blasting nu-metal that it downloaded off of limewire. also it turns out that incubus wrote the song specifically for the movie??????? a glorious time capsule of the war on terror/bush era.

  full discussion on episode 63 of my podcast SLEAZOIDS.

• 

  Review by matt lynch ★★★ 3

  Look, this movie is deeply stupid, a cartoon mashup of TOP GUN and SHORT CIRCUIT with a douchebro streak, but if we're being honest its "G.I. Joe"-caliber drone paranoia was technically pretty ahead of the curve. For as dated as this can frequently appear we're to this day patting ourselves on the back for our cinematic fear of these machines' frightening supposed amoral autonomy, when in fact every last soul of incurred collateral damage has come as the result of a human trigger finger. Nowadays it would be sincerely subversive to see the good guys win out in the end by making friends and collaborating with the unknowable A.I. tech boogeyman like they do here.

• 

  Review by shookone ½ 1

  Dear Stealth,

  you are a delicious machine stew from the garbage can, aren't you little bugger? Top Gun reloaded. must have thought to yourself "if i'm already with the old guys, well then why not get good ol' Kubrick and his 2001 out?" - HAL is now a flying speedster who becomes independent in order to punch the stupid Russians in the mouth. Who could object to that? Only the damn political correctness of course, my poor Stealth. Speaking of which, could you briefly explain to me why the US delegate, who has his fingers in the game, is constantly being filmed from the outside through the pane?

  Otherwise you're a little less well off, my good man: Establish your…

• 

  Review by BestVista ★★ 8

  So the movie's no good - a witless, graceless, artless try-hard exercise in bludgeoning action that's only notable as an artefact of that peculiar time in the mid-00's when Hollywood underwent one of its periodic manias and tried to convince us that Josh Lucas was a Movie Star (to be fair to Lucas, he's since found his level in portraying slimy bastards, most effectively in 'Ford Vs. Ferrari').

  But I don't want to talk about the hapless movie so much. No, because the DVD of 'Stealth' is still a must-see for its jaw-droppingly ghastly 'Making Of' documentary 'Harnessing Speed : The Making Of Stealth', placing director Rob Cohen front and centre, as if the auteur of 'The Skulls' and 'The…

• 

  Review by Mark Mooney ★★★

  "If I have to, I will blast your aero-elastic ass right out of the sky." - Purcell

  The Navy has developed a new fighter jet that is piloted by an artificial intelligence computer. In order to teach the jet combat manoeuvres, it has been placed on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific with three human pilots - Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas), Henry Purcell (Jamie Foxx), and Kara Wade (Jessica Biel). However, when the computer starts to develop a mind of its own, the pilots are tasked with stopping it before it can incite a war. While the story and character development may not be any great shakes, it is a competently made film from director Rob Cohen with solid performances. Richard Roxburgh, Joe Morton and Sam Shepard also star.

• 

  Review by Ayden The NinjaPirateBear ★ 6

  2005 Ranked
  Non-2021 First Time Watches Ranked
  Directors Ranked: Rob Cohen

  I have seen six Rob Cohen films; three of them were decent; The Fast and the Furious, xXx and DragonHeart; and three of them are absolute shit-bombs; The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Alex Cross and now Stealth.

  Seriously, this film is so fucking stupid. I don't mind stupid films, but this is just so much worse than the level of stupid I like. Not to mention I didn't find any redeeming qualities. The performances were average at best, the action sequences were boring and a discount Top Gun and there was nothing noteworthy on the direction either.

  If you wanna watch a film with jets, watch Top Gun (and I think Top Gun is horribly overrated). If you wanna watch a film about rogue AI, watch 2001 or fucking I, Robot or something. There is literally no reason to watch this garbage

• 

  Review by Jake Alda Coffey ★

  A terrible action movie. Horrible writing, lifeless characters, bad visual effects, a flawed and ridiculous plot. It was such a boring movie to watch to where there were times I forgot I was even watching it. 

  2005 RANKED 

• 

  Review by 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖆𝖒 ★★½

  Almost certainly a pointless film, though it’s charming in a 2005 way: the AI jet gets sad and listens to Incubus

• 

  Review by Charlie ★★

  So stealthy I forgot it was even on.

• 

  Review by Mos Co ★★

  Jamie Foxx characters chat up line: 'Hi, I'm Henry, I'm American. I fly jets, do you like to go fast?'
  I'm sure this was funded by the US Military. Perhaps even written, produced, and directed by them too.
  'we have a mission for you to Tajikistan, it's one of they rogue countries set up after the break up of the soviet union' then they show this rudimentary map with Tajikistan outlined in bold.
  It's awful in loads of ways but defiantly watchable.

• 

  Review by HAL ½ 1

  At one point Jessica Biel announces to the other two characters that she has to go “peepee” and well yeah I guess this movie could only be entertaining to those who still talk like they’re two years old.

• 

  Review by Dawson Joyce ★★

  Although it's visually impressive and the performances are fine, Rob Cohen's Top Gun/2001: A Space Odyssey mash-up Stealth is a rather dull techno-thriller that misguidedly tries to blend its over-the-top action sequences and absurd sci-fi premise with attempts to make serious points about war, the results making the viewer want to repeatedly roll their eyes at the screen (along with the poor dialogue).