1987 Directed by Ruggero Deodato
Orphaned brothers Kutchek and Gore are adopted by a tribe led by Canary the owner of a powerful jewel. The evil Kadar wants both Canary and the jewel. Attacking the tribe he kidnaps Canary but the stone eludes him. The brothers are taken to be trained as gladiators and years later have grown to be VERY big. They escape and set off on a quest to find the jewel and rescue Canary.
Peter Paul David Paul Richard Lynch Eva LaRue Virginia Bryant Sheeba Alahani Michael Berryman George Eastman Franco Pistoni Raffaella Baracchi Pasquale Bellazecca Luigi Bellazecca Wilma Marzilli Giovanni Cianfriglia Angelo Ragusa Nanni Bernini Lucio Rosato Franco Daddi Omero Capanna Tiziana Di Gennaro Marilda Donà Paolo Merosi Nello Pazzafini Renzo Pevarello Paolo Risi Benito Stefanelli
Les Barbarians, The Barbarian Brothers, Братя Варвари, Os Bárbaros
A solid sword and sorcery movie directed by Cannibal Holocaust's Rugerro Deodato. This Cannon produced flick is actually a lot less sleazy than I was expecting/hoping. It is still pretty moronic though. Most of its dimwittedness comes courtesy of our titular barbarians; bodybuilding twins, Peter and David Paul. These guys have to be seen to be believed. They're built like a tank and probably have the same level of intellect as said tank. They're fun to watch to say the least.
Richard Lynch plays the main baddie but he isn't given a real chance to shine. Michael Berryman and George Eastman also star.
A decent amount of fun.
letterboxd.com/mondocinema/list/fantasy-filmarama/
A review of Barbarians '87
OR
All sword-wielding warriors are from Jersey.
"WARRIORS CONQUERS HEROES"
Barbarians is a late-in-the-game Conansploitation movie from Ruggero Deadato the man behind Cannibal Holocaust and Raiders of Atlantis, and for better or worse (mostly worse) introduced the world to the "Barbarian" twins a couple of meat heads from Jersey that look like they stepped straight out of a Frank Frazetta painting.
A traveling caravan of artists and poets in some medieval fantasy world finds a couple of twins and a girl. After adopting them into the group, a brutal warlord Cadar attacks them. (Played by Richard Lynch of course.)
He wants some kind of special magical ruby for some reason.(The plot doesn't necessarily make…
What if Road Warrior was actually a bunch of guys on horseback trying to kill a roving circus troupe, while they fend them off using juggling pins, barbells, and fire-breathing? What if Conan were twins beefing up on the "wheel of pain" and ended up being jacked up frat bros who would likely be more comfortable butt chugging beer than waving around swords? The Barbarians is the answer to all of your questions. I'm not used to Cannon films, yet, after having watched so many Corman productions - I'm used to smaller budgets and more topless women. The only boobs in this film are the Barbarian Brothers. Richard Lynch does his best Bowie-esque Goblin King. I especially liked his throne,…
God bless those Barbarians.
The first half hour I was barely paying attention because it's boring barnyard sword & sorcery shit I could care less about but then it's time for The Brothers to have their Face/Off moment and call each other boneheads in this 100% historically accurate period piece so I was like "Movie, you're alright."
Look, let's be honest. Nobody was ever going to win any Oscars for their performance in this. The writing and acting are about what you'd expect from a cheap Conan knockoff. The titular barbarians, who both kinda resemble how I'd imagine a roided-out Corey Feldman to look, come off like they belong in an episode of Jersey Shore. A couple of juice heads with very few brain cells to rub together.
What surprised me, however, is how good this manages to look, at times. The production value often feels like that of a much larger film, with some great-looking sets and costumes. It's also pretty well shot and looks immaculate on Blu-ray. Some really polished trash here.
This Cannon produced Ruggero Deodato film is an experience like no other. A bizarre combination of fantasy adventure and horror filtered through the mind of a true madman. Essentially Deodato thought "I can definitely make a Conan film. And I'll have two Conans! And I'll cast the Barbarian brothers since they must be real barbarians! And it will be the most epic cinematic achievement of all time!" And then he made the Barbarians...
Casting the goofy 90s "Barbarian Brothers" Peter and David Paul really confuses the tone of this weirdo. Two giant clumsy surfer dudes in a medieval fantasy film? So obviously it's nuts right from the get go. They call each other bonehead! Isn't it supposed to be the…
This is the glam rock knockoff of Conan the Destroyer.
I think it's cool that the leads are IRL twin brothers, and I admire the effort needed to aquire such impressive physiques, but one Schwarzenegger is worth far more than these two combined. Arnold famously had to lean down to play Conan, as his arms were too big to effectively swing a sword, and these gents would've been wise to learn from the GOAT. This is some of the worst combat I've ever seen. My desk-sitting dadbod ass swings medieval weapons far better than these dudes who look like Greek statues, and move almost as well as one.
I was considering killing this, but I'm almost shocked at the effort…
Movie marathon #2 of 6.
Watched the Scorpion Releasing Blu-ray.
A "Conan the Barbarian (1982)" sword and sorcery knock-off released by Golan-Globus' Cannon films, directed by Ruggero Deodato the director of "Cannibal Holocaust (1980)" and starring the extremely beefy twin brothers Paul, what could go wrong? Tonally, quite a lot but as a piece of schlocky entertainment? Nothing at all!
We're dropped into the film with a narrator bringing us some nonsensical world building involving a magic tribe of carnival entertainers being attacked by a restraint villainous Richard Lynch in the slowest horse chase scene ever filmed. However clumsy, it's a fun introduction to the silly things yet to come. Lynch apparantly wants to steal a magic ruby holding great…
Kutchek und Gore, muskelbepackte Zwillingsbrüder, entkommen nach Jahren aus der gefangenschaft von Tyrann Kadar. Dieser hat noch Canary, Prinzessin der Ragnicks, in seiner Gewalt. Die Zwillingsbrüder müssen einen Rubin suchen um Kadar zu besiegen.
Italienischer Fantasyabenteuer "Kulthit" aus dem Jahre 1987, von den Legendären Cannon Films. Regie führte hier Ruggero Deodato. David+Peter Paul spielen hier die "Barbaren Brüder", und Richard Lynch spielt wie immer den Bösen. Michael Berryman spielt hier auch mit. Das Barbaren/Fantasy Setting sieht gut aus und funktioniert für mich. Über den Humor kann man sich natürlich streiten, aber für mich passt der hier gut hinein. Das sind für mich ein paar gute gründe, warum ich den Film schon etliche male gesehen habe. Er begleitet mich schon so lange durch mein "Filmleben" das er mir nie langweilig wird. Hier wird einiges an absurden sachen geboten, das ich es jedes mal aufs neue abfeiere !!! Für mich ist die Laufzeit VIEL zu kurz😅
Watched for Letterboxd Movie Night
My daughter took her first steps today, and then I watched The Barbarians.
So memorable day all around.
Figured I'd watch another Italian swords and sorcery flick. This time a first time watch in The Barbarians! So this isn't nearly as good as Conquest but it's cheesy fun. Two big oily twins battle Richard Lynch in yet another antagonist role. There's buxom scantily clad babes, fighting, silly dialogue, and muscle power! There's also a weird swamp creature that looks kinda like an erect penis mixed with a dragon's face...
The Ruggero Deodato director's credit really seals the deal with this one.
The only minute thrill to be had here is the union of Michael Berryman from Craven's The Hills Have Eyes with the same voice actress who English-dubbed several of Argento's classics (you can hear her in both Inferno and Suspiria) (I also wouldn't be surprised if she was Elmira in Deep Red). The rest is so damn boring, I really felt like I was watching a fit Bobo and Li'l Debil stomp around the desert, then forest, for 80 minutes. I am not understating when I say that is how these 2 guys behave and express themselves. With even less charisma.
I debated with myself just what this…
