Synopsis
Disturbed and Hideously ugly 'Warehouse Worker' Frank dates then murders women who are not nice to him, he then mutilates and disposes of their corpses, helped out by his friends.
The Bride of Frank
1996 Directed by Steve Ballot
Director
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Been tripping into some SOV rabbit holes lately and today it's led me to Frank and his band of merry, smack-talking men. Frank's a real tit man, barely functioning at even John Fetterman speeds. He's a walking dick joke with a crater face resembling shriveled foreskin. Imagine the most grotesque nineties Harmony Korine characters mingling with Llyod Kaufman's Troma Team and you're in the ballpark. Frequently stupid and amateurish, it doesn't take itself seriously and ends up being almost sweet.
6.3/10 -
I'm at a loss for words.
An experience rather than a film. An indefinable, impenetrable exercise in excess and loud vulgarity that defies logic and constraints and does nothing but double down on everything. No-wave and every-wave all at once. Infallible purely because it lives on its own on a plane with no laws or rules of any kind, not even the words "law" and "rule" exist. An almost vignetted series of I don't even know what surrounding real life hobo Frank with his brain damaged flat deadpan speech and dialogue and his insatiable love of tits and his short fuse and his bizarre left field threats that he always delivers on. Unsettling horror thru hallucinogenic repetition and comedy thru…
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Repulsive bit of SOV gutter trash about a puttering, mumbling (many of his lines are subtitled), homeless sociopath who develops a disturbing obsession with large breasts (“tits tits big tits” as he would put it). He also always says what’s on his mind and never — ever — tells a lie; important, because Frank says some absolutely heinous (if not hilarious) shit. And it’s always, 100% of the time without fail, delivered upon. Think of Frank’s lines as a courtesy telegraph to the audience so that when he says, “I’m going to bite your dick off” or “I’m gonna cut your head off and shit down your neck” or even “I’m going to beat you with a metal pole and…
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Wow. Where to begin...
A film surely written by a 9 year old boy after going on the most depraved internet rabbit hole binge, then his creepy uncle picked up the dirty napkin sprayed in obscene words and said, "This is GREAT, kid! I'm gonna direct the shit outta this!"
Truly the ultimate (or a top contender) in "Who Is This For" Cinema. A total dumpster scraping of imagination to produce one of the most bizarre and vile SOV films I've ever seen.The Bride of Frank is about an old man with a harsh speech impediment named Frank. He works at a warehouse where he also lives and has a dozen or so cats and is obsessed with tits…
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Slower than real life implications and the freeze frame delivery. Arachnid camera movement and close-ups of the human animal. What Steve Ballot lacks in talent he more than makes up for in diabolical intent. If you like old cam filters you're in for a treat.
Less than 4 minutes and whoof! Is that menudo in that child's skull? Christ. That's one way to crack a coconut.
"Come on you old fuck! Let's move it!"
'96 feels a lot like '86 here. Mundane existence and all the putrid life west of the Holland Tunnel (farting noises). I'm sinking right into this blurry rot. Some incredible world building is happening. Haha.
"... and spit that dick out of your mouth!"
An Ave…
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I'm not saying that watching this film gave me superpowers but I couldn't help but think of myself while watching as some sort of modern day Kwai Chang Caine. Alone in the dark, facing his final challenge before leaving the secret inner workings of the temple of video trash. Except that all of my scars would now be on the inside. Lingering. A belligerent smooth brained rite of passage that is unabashedly puerile, pointless and seething. Think Jersey Shore meets Bum Fights. But with more crank. Like, all the crank. Devolves into a blatantly greasy slick of dick jokes and skull fuckery that is less a shocking exercise in vulgarity than it is a mythical grimoire of seizure inducing, choke…
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Warning: If you are triggered by profanity or frank descriptions of disgusting stuff then don't read this review, because I'm damned if I'm going to sugarcoat this heinous piece of shit.
"The Bride of Frank is really nowhere near as good as The Bride of Frankenstein, but I did like the bit where he ate the fat hooker's eyeball and then skull-fucked her to death."
- Leonard MaltinSo how to describe The Bride of Frank? It's a movie - if movie you can call it - which defies easy categorisation or evaluation. Even a general acceptance of it as complete garbage doesn't help you determine where in the stratification of garbology it should be placed.
This is basically a…
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I was riding a Red Spirit Lake high and I wanted to watch something grimy. Then I remembered The Bride of Frank and boy was this shit grimy.
Frank is a wrinkly old man with an interesting voice and an extreme hunger for "big titties". He works and lives in an office building with a warehouse where shit gets loaded onto trucks to be delivered. His coworkers are a bunch of brash, loud men. Men who love to have friendly back and forths about fucking each other in the ass and how small the other's dick is all the while helping Frank find the big titty woman of his dreams.
This one goes all out and doesn't pull any punches.…
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Repugnant SOV grimefest, an obscene, perverted and violent wet dream refracted through purgatorial 80's visuals. The Bride of Frank lacks the queer-shocked camp of John Waters or the acute (and also queer) punk rock brattiness of James Robert Baker, opting for a more mean-spirited, fratty and overall more mid-90's approach to the exploitation genre. Generation X brought with it a definite changing of the guard as far as cultural ownership of this brand of bad taste and artistic depravity was concerned. And while this change eventually led to a gradual decline of the form, it's hard to complain when this particular slice of cursed sludgecore is so hilariously grotesque.
It might not be as iconic as Pink Flamingos or as sharply…
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Ridiculous SOV trash that feels like a mash up of Troma and Giuseppe Andrews. Watch it late at night with a group of friends. Take a shot every time you see a cat or when Frank brings up titties.
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Let's just get this out of the way first.. why did they shoot this masterpiece with a camera they found in a Crackerjack box?! The quality is sooo bad, I feel bad wanting this on blu-ray when I know the technical side is wasted.
This movie though is just bonkers. If Troma got brain damage, they would have made this. A girl is skullfucked, I can cross that off my list. What surprised me though was that I enjoyed this for more than just the gore, it's also surreal and insane. There is a dating sequence with a musical number! To think I would never have even heard of this if not for my friend ELECTRICxWIZARD's review. Thank you very much!
Watched with Jason.
