84/100

Someone gave James Wan a shit ton of money to make a 134 minute horror hangout movie, and even though I was NOPE NOPE NOPEING right out of the theatre as soon as the credits rolled, I don't regret a second of the experience. The Conjuring 2 is utterly rambunctious and playful, a far cry from the elegant tropes of the original chiller. The visuals and sound are cranked up to maximum fluidity and distortion, character dynamics are twice as sincere and hopeful in the face of demonic cynicism, and its pacing gives itself entirely to the various setups and payoffs of Wan's fun house horror brand. I feel sorry for the furniture in this movie, because Wan goes…

▶ Gonzo's 2016 Movie Rankings

Is it good?
Yes.

Is it as good or better than the first film?
No, but it's better than any of James Wan's Insidious movies.

Is it scary?
It depends. If you find jump scares and horror flicks based on true events scary, then yes. One thing's for sure though—The Conjuring 2 is one creepy-ass film; arguably even creepier than the original.

The first movie opens with the haunted doll Annabelle. What paranormal case does the sequel open with?
The Amityville Horror, which packs more creativity and creepiness than all of the Amityville remakes and sequels combined.

What's the sequel about this time around?
The Enfield Poltergeist, aka England's Amityville.

What are the best parts?…

I'm pretty sure James Wan's last name actually has a silent 'k' at the end.

Based on true eve..OH STOP RIGHT FUCKING THERE YOU LIAR

The Conjuring 2 once again lays bare and pokes at the open nerve that is the horror genre; it is oblivious to the difference between scaring someone and making someone afraid.

Scaring someone is the easiest thing there is. Make lots of noise and you're basically done. Making someone uncomfortable, making them dread what might happen, getting under their skin, that's a challenge. One that this film fails at miserably.

It tries to scare us so hard (and on one or two occasions admirably succeeds) that it completely forgets to be scary. Wan(k) is visually…

"I just like to hear them scream..."

- Bill Wilkins

Just saw this movie in an advanced screening...let me tell you one thing, James Wan hasn't lost it...

So it's very rare, and especially in the horror genre, that a sequel is better or as good as the first one. Well The Conjuring 2: the enfield poltergeist is a perfect example of that sort of thing. This movie was scary as shit at some points. At one time, every scene had tension in it. Like the first hour of the movie is non-stop tension. It was awesome and unbearable at the same time.

Also the movie is 123 minutes long, which gives us the chance to know our characters well…

Let me share a little secret with you all. I was afraid of the dark for most of my childhood, up until I was just starting high school. I couldn't bear to sleep in darkness, because the very thought of being in those conditions gripped my psyche with unimaginable terror. And it was for what is probably the lamest reason ever dreamt up. When I was about 3 or 4 years old, I had a toy Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner that I kept in my closet. One night, I had an awful dream that the Dirt Devil came to life and forced me to turn it on, then proceeding to terrorize me with its ungodly loud vacuum noise. I can…

Gallup needs to do a poll to settle this once and for all: What's scarier, yellow eyes or red eyes? Red eyes are the classic ocular presence of evil: blood-colored, raging, lustful and thus free from rationale, chaotic. But yellow eyes? Something even creepier about them, for my money's worth. Urochromatic, sulphuric, demonic (The Conjuring 2 also experiments with white eyes in the opening scene but that just makes me think of milk, very not terrifying).

I bring this up because no matter how many times I watch this movie, no matter how many times I warn myself, the nun nightmare scene always freaks me out. Seeing its yellow eyes lightly pierce the darkness, those little glints of gold danger…

I haven’t seen this one as many times as the first one and there’s definitely a reason for that. 

The Conjuring 2 has a lot of potential!! There’s some pretty good spooks for sure, and most of those involve the dreaded Nun.

I feel that there are too many different stories going on at once in this movie which finds you distracted while watching. It’s not as captivating as the first movie even though the acting, sound effects are just as effective! James Wan definitely knows what he’s doing.

In the end, they try to solve the multiple plot point by just combining them all, and to me, it doesn’t really work. While I’m probably being too judgmental on a…