Popular reviews

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  Review by Matt Singer ★½ 4

  Idris Elba is a really good Gunslinger. This is a really bad Gunslinger movie.

  Full review at ScreenCrush.

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  Review by matt lynch ★★½ 6

  Stephen King's LAST ACTION HERO? Not real sure why you wanna take this incredibly personal, idiosyncratic work by one of modern fiction's most popular writers and turn it into a sorta gothy NEVERENDING STORY with guns but there we are.

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  Review by Jacob Knight ★ 10

  Awful from top to bottom. A 90-minute season recap of a bastardized dream we had as horror kids, running through the aisles of the library. How a movie can render both Matthew McConaughey and Idris Elba completely uncharismatic may be a greater mystery than its inability to mine thousands of fascinating pages for anything remotely engaging. This is Stephen King's MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. A travesty.

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  Review by Tay ★★ 1

  here are two kinds of "fine":

  (1) fine, as in: wow, that person is so Fine i feel a certain kind of holiness pulse throughout my entire body; everything is electric, alive, buzzing; i am lightheaded and dizzy with lust/longing/love

  (2) fine, as in: average, mediocre. all right at best, forgettable at worst. i wasn't expecting to be all that satisfied, let alone have my mind blown. honestly i'll be lucky if there's even any foreplay. it happened. it was... fine, i guess.

  Idris Elba is fine, of the former kind.
  The Dark Tower is fine, of the latter kind.

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  Review by Dawson Joyce ★ 5

  Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey both deliver typically fine work, but The Dark Tower wastes their considerable talent on a film that absolutely reeks of studio interference and conflicting visions, as it's laden with blatantly rushed and nonsensical storytelling, poor dialogue, one-dimensional characters, terrible pacing, uninspired action sequences, choppy editing, and a stunning lack of passion.

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  Review by 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 ½ 14

  This movie has forgotten the face of its father. 

  Sony took King's magnum opus and squandered it. What we have here, after so many stops and starts, is a Maze Runnered, Divergented bastardization of The Dark Tower. It's a YA flick with a Mid-World lexicon.

  Literally couldn't stop laughing when, after a total onslaught of Hey look it's King-Stuff!, I turned to my friend and said "Watch there be a St Bernard" and what do you know there's Cujo right as it comes out of my mouth!

  How do you take one of the most engagingly strange and consistently unpredictable fantasy/horror series of all time and make it sooooo boring? Kind of a feat. The longest 95 minutes of my life.

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  Review by David Sims ★★ 3

  it's a wonderful whiff of nostalgia, a beloved genre adaptation from a pre-AICN age, where world-building is for nerds, and akiva goldsman and a bunch of focus groups decide the whole thing would be better seen through the eyes of a cute kid everyone can explain everything to. it's 1994 up in here!

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  Review by Ava ☭ ★★★ 6

  I saw this with my dad aka #1 Stephen King fan who has five dark tower tattoos and he fucking hated this and was so heated that I had to drive him home where he kept on talking about Eddie the heroin addict and the tower and how The gunslinger isn't that and I was like ok dad

  I was also just excited to watch big brother when I get home HALTING HEX RISE EVICTION NIGHT DIE

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  Review by Marco Risch ½

  Nur 95 Minuten und ich bin zweimal eingeschlafen.

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  Review by Ian West ★★★ 12

  A blind spot in my King reading, I have nothing to base this on, regardless... I had fun... and would gladly welcome sequels...

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  Review by Raphael ★½ 2

  I do not fall asleep with my eyes.

  He who falls asleep with his eyes has forgotten the face of his father.

  I snore with my heart.

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  Review by CinemaCl🎃wn ★ 1

  An embarrassment to feature film adaptations, The Dark Tower is a bland, banal & boring mess from start to finish. Discarding all the elements & complexities that garnered its source material its fan following, the film brings Stephen King’s sprawling mythology to cinematic life in an exceptionally dull & disappointing fashion, and is as forgettable as it is incoherent.

  Based on Stephen King’s novel series of the same name, The Dark Tower features a good vs evil story and covers the eternal battle between a gunslinger who keeps fighting to protect a mythical structure that holds the universe together and a powerful sorcerer who intends to destroy it. And stuck in the middle of this conflict is a young boy who turns out…