Popular reviews

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  Review by Mikael Stånggren ★★½ 72

  The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the funky air of my local HFR theatre.

  Much that once was is lost, for no director now lives who remembers its subtle epicness.

  It began with the forging of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the great feels that followed.

  Three feels were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.

  Seven to the Dwarf Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls.

  And nine, nine feels were gifted to the Race of Men, who above all else desire a dark and well-made fantasy saga.

  But they were all of them deceived, for another…

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  Review by Josh Lewis ★ 10

  Legit one of the worst things that's ever been projected in a theatre. It's a fundamental misreading of Tolkien to cynically stretch his children's farce about war & greed into a corporate tie-in blockbuster epic—every gesture to Lord of the Rings is embarrassing, and the rest is weightless, lazy garbage. This has value in a sort of meta way, I guess, as a desperate cry for the importance of pre-production. Watched the extended edition out of a morbid curiosity for what could've possibly hit the cutting room floor of the longest movie ever made but it turns out you can't even tell because the whole trilogy feels like one long deleted scene anyway.

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  Review by Matt Singer ★★ 6

  It takes a lot to make a war
  And even then it’s a total bore
  An eagle here, a big orc there
  But so what dude, who really cares?
  Too many armies
  Too many armies
  Too many armies
  Too many armies
  Too many armies
  Too many armies
  Too many armies

  (REPEAT FOR TWO HOURS OR UNTIL TIME FOLDS IN ON ITSELF, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST)

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  Review by Lucy ★★ 7

  lotr trilogy: a 3 course meal at a 5 star restaurant

  hobbit trilogy: a bad tv dinner cooked in the microwave

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  Review by Evan ★★★ 6

  The friend-zone is a bitch, isn't it Legolas?

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  Review by DirkH ★★★★ 33

  I'll start out by saying the exact same thing I said when reviewing The Desolation of Smaug, if you didn't like the other films, don't watch this one. It'll be torture as Jackson approaches his material the exact same way as he does in the other films.

  I happen to love the first two parts. I am completely in tune with Jackson's vision of Middle Earth and absolutely love and cherish the time he has allowed me to spend there. The Battle of the Five armies also, once again, confirms that we are not watching a mere adaptation of Tolkien's novel, but a translation of the novel and other materials to transport it to the way Jackson envisaged The Lord…

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  Review by Mario 🎄❄️ ★★★★ 7

  If you ever pass through Bag End, tea is at four. There's plenty of it. You are welcome any time. Don't bother knocking.

  The Hobbit movies may be far from perfect, but each of them has its moments and sometimes it's the little things...

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  Review by matt lynch ★★ 5

  Bilbo Baggins: "Is all this treasure really worth your honor?"
  Peter Jackson: "Yep!"

  I can't help pointing out the depressing irony of the guy who made a scrappy classic like BAD TASTE now churning out a bloated epic about the pernicious influence of greed and excess.

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  Review by 𝚮𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖓𝖆𝖉𝖊 🎃🕯️👻 ★★½ 5

  Gandalf, over and over again: *discovers that shady shit is happening* *chooses to face it alone like a dramatic bitch* *gets tossed around like a rag doll* *sits in a cage for God knows how long*
  The eagles, Galadriel & Elrond, having to rescue him: Fucking hell, here we go again.

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  Review by davidehrlich ★★ 3

  bad.

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  Review by eely 🎄 ★★★ 2

  farewell👋 master burglar👨 go back to your books 📚 and your armchair🪑 plant your trees 🌲 watch them grow 😭

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  Review by COBRARocky ★ 1

  They really released an entire movie that was just filler.