2008 Ranked
Non-2019 First Time Watches Ranked
Directors Ranked: Rob Cohen

"Here we go again!"

Ugh, this is pretty awful...

There is an over-reliance on CGI but the issue is that the CGI is so god awful, it's ridiculous. The acting was terrible, with the exception of Brendan Fraser although Michelle Yeoh was passable. Maria Bello's accent was so over-the-top, it's like the only time she has seen/heard British people is on Downton Abbey. The story was stupid, which is the case for the other Mummy films but they were fun. This just wasn't. It was boring and ugly. The action scenes (minus one I enjoyed) are awful. It's kinda like Rob Cohen watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon one time…

This was one of those movies that was so dull that I had time to nitpick all the little problems going on.

Let’s talk about Luke Ford. Is it really so hard to just put on a British accent? It’s not the hardest accent to fake, even if it sounds way too posh like Maria Bello’s one (I’ll get on to her in a second). The kid was doing some sort of American Australian hybrid. If he can’t even do an accent other than his native one, then what is he doing in a movie like this? Why was he cast? It’s not as if he’s a particularly good actor. Everytime he spoke I cringed... nobody has that accent.

And…

Horrible, horrible, horrible. Hilarious, but horrible.

This movie (not film) cared more about humor than plot, character development, tasteful writing, action, and everything in between. It's so self aware by essentially stating "look at this whacky situation we've found ourselves in!" and nothing else.

The lack of continuity is appalling. Remember how Alex was English in 2? Now he's suddenly American. Remember Rachel Weisz? Gone. Replaced.

Let's not forget the antagonist isn't even a mummy. He can't be a mummy if he was not wrapped and from Egypt! This emperor was cursed and stuck as pottery for years and years. That does not constitute as a mummy.

Literally scene after scene are Fraser and the imposter Evy cracking jokes back…

I'd been avoiding this one for years hearing how bad it is, but I've been watching through these movies with a friend, and he wanted us to finish the trilogy.

Yes, this movie sucks, but I had a good time laughing at it. Alex now has a Bostonian accent in a horrific oversight on the filmmakers' part, the CGI has almost no improvement from The Mummy Returns, the humor gets low-brow to the point of "The yak yakked!", the characters still think they can stop the big bad by constantly shooting at him, the plot has an obvious potential solution that's never pointed out, one of the villains gets themselves killed by holding onto another villain who's in clear mortal…

“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”

The Mummy series came to a close with this final adventure that pulls our mains Rick and Evelyn  O’Connell out of retirement to help their now 20 something year old son with artifact delivery. This quickly turns into another battle for the whole world as we know it against the undead.

I’m going to get my problems out the way first. 

- Where’s the beautiful, talented Rachel Weisz? Her and Brendan Fraser’s chemistry was so amazing and one of my favorite parts of the first two films that her absence was severely felt even though Maria Bello did a good job filling the character. I do appreciate the joke the film made eluding…

So many aspects of this film make zero sense. Why recast Rachel Weisz? Maria Bello is talented, but she’s in an impossible situation. Why not write out Evie altogether and just give Bello an original character to play?

And the character of Rick O’Connell was appealing because he was forced into these situations begrudgingly. He’s the John McClane of mummies! He’s lost most of that charm here as the writers turn him into an adventure-crazy cardboard hero. It’s like they didn’t even watch the first two films. 

Then there’s Jet Li. He’s a mummy for about two seconds and then he’s just...Jet Li, which is cool and all, but not for a movie called THE MUMMY.

Fraser is still great…