.....okay, I heard this movie was pretty unoriginal, but good god! I wasn't expecting to have seen, I'm not even joking, EVER, SINGLE, MOVIE, this ripped off.

If you have seen the amount of animated features that I have, then you've seen this movie. Actually, if you've seen "Toy Story 1 and 2", (THEY EVEN STRAIGHT UP RIP OFF THE SPEECH BUZZ GAVE IN 2!) "Flushed Away", "Oliver And Company", "The Aristocats", "Open Season", or, fuck it! Practically ANY animated film featuring talking animals, you're going to be feeling so much Déjà Vu your head might spin!

While "The Secret Life of Pets" is mostly harmless in the grand scheme of things, it plays almost like a parody of a…

30/100

The Secret Life of Pets doesn't work as a movie. If you want to debate the basics, I can indeed confirm it is a series of moving images projected digitally to a crowd of human individuals, all varying in height and weight, but that's besides the point. A cinematic feature should at least maintain that standard. But beyond a rhythm of construction, of pure movie tissue, The Secret Life of Pets fails as soon as the training wheels are taken off. Even the prolonged marketing - utilizing the first five minutes of the film as their template - couldn't make sense of it, probably because they realized that any sort of narrative progression or character development is nonexistent besides…

So in the Netherlands we do this weird thing. We throw chocolate sprinkles on our bread. Don't ask me why, we just do. We smother a slice of bread with butter so the sprinkles will stick, pour a mountain of chocolate sprinkles on top of it, cover it with another slice of bread and Bob's your uncle, sandwich heaven according to us Dutchies.

I remember only having the option of pouring dark chocolate on my bread when I was a kid. Later we got milk chocolate and even later still we got the epitome of chocolate sprinklyness, a mixture of white and milk chocolate. It was a luxury of Michelin star proportions.

And then the Funnies came.

A Funny is…