Popular reviews

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  Review by James (Schaffrillas) ★½

  Now I'm just hungry for sausages

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  Review by Todd Gaines ★★½ 27

  When their owners leave for the day. The pets come out to play.

  Yup, this is a movie. All I remember is there's a fat pussy, a large wiener, a piggy covered in tats, a croc, a snake, some angry bird, a punk rock poodle, an illusion to an orgy, a dog in a wheelchair, stupid humans, silly cellphones, literally, a sausage party, sewers, NO SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN, dog piss, bunny shit, Kevin Hart going all Boyz n the Hood, a boat, a hairless kitty, dog kisses, water, and murder talk.

  If you're seven, go see this. Nothing stands out when it comes to the animation. Zootopia walks all over this one.  Fuck, I pretty much forgot the movie already. Forgettable fluff.

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  Review by Steve G 🇵🇸 🇾🇪 ★★★ 14

  This is already dated because it has a scene in Central Park and there weren't hundreds of berks trying to catch a Vaporeon.

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  Review by Lucy ★★ 1

  i wasn't really paying attention but anyways i would die for jenny slate's voice alone

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  Review by SilentDawn ★½ 12

  30/100

  The Secret Life of Pets doesn't work as a movie. If you want to debate the basics, I can indeed confirm it is a series of moving images projected digitally to a crowd of human individuals, all varying in height and weight, but that's besides the point. A cinematic feature should at least maintain that standard. But beyond a rhythm of construction, of pure movie tissue, The Secret Life of Pets fails as soon as the training wheels are taken off. Even the prolonged marketing - utilizing the first five minutes of the film as their template - couldn't make sense of it, probably because they realized that any sort of narrative progression or character development is nonexistent besides…

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  Review by DirkH ★★ 7

  So in the Netherlands we do this weird thing. We throw chocolate sprinkles on our bread. Don't ask me why, we just do. We smother a slice of bread with butter so the sprinkles will stick, pour a mountain of chocolate sprinkles on top of it, cover it with another slice of bread and Bob's your uncle, sandwich heaven according to us Dutchies.

  I remember only having the option of pouring dark chocolate on my bread when I was a kid. Later we got milk chocolate and even later still we got the epitome of chocolate sprinklyness, a mixture of white and milk chocolate. It was a luxury of Michelin star proportions.

  And then the Funnies came.

  A Funny is…

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  Review by russman ★★★ 4

  Chew Toy Story

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  Review by Tay ½ 11

  siri, how do i get back the hour and a half of my life wasted watching this

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  Review by feat. dante from the dmc series ★★★★

  kevin hart: THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN

  me: *laughs nervously* what the fuck?

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  Review by olivia 🌷💛 ★★½

  the taylor swift welcome to new york opening scene was the best thing about this movie

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  Review by Gonzo ★★ 1

  ▶ Gonzo's 2016 Movie Rankings

  A poor man's poor man's Toy Story.

  Two and a half stars for the underused hawk struggling to suppress his predatory urges.

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  Review by Wesley R. Ball ★★★

  From Illumination Entertainment, the animation studio that invaded nearly every home in America with the giant yellow tictacs from Hell, comes The Secret Life of Pets, a film that starts out with a neat concept that grasped everyone's attention with its clever teaser trailer, then somewhat stutters into a severely generic story that never misses a standard beat. The entire teaser trailer is literally the beginning of the film, which is something I can greatly appreciate, since the trailers really didn't give too much of the film away. There's enough to see here that hasn't been shown in the trailers, fortunately, and while there are plenty of genuine moments, the film undoubtedly caters towards the kids in a more exclusive…