this is just bridget jones diary if daniel cleaver & mr. darcy were CIA agents... which is actually pretty sick now that i think about it

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

There's a guy with a pistol and another guy with a pistol and a girl who fucks the one guy but also fucks the other guy and they all fuck and shoot and kiss and fuck and fight.

i cant believe 13 yr old me would've picked chris pine over tom hardy... im so glad i matured and realized the error of my ways

one star for each of tom hardy's luscious lips

Pine and Hardy shoulda banged.

Now what's the word I'm looking for?

Awful? No.

Ghastly? Nope.

Bland? Nah.

Piss poor in just about every aspect of film making? Njet.

Waste of talent? Non.

A veneered turd? Nee.

All of the above?

Yeah. That's it.

that alternate ending where chris pine and tom hardy chose each other was the ending we deserved

one star for tom hardy, one star for chris pine's eyebrows

you know that part when chris pine and tom hardy are sitting at chris’ grandma’s party and tom tells him he loves him and would die for him and then adds something like “now imagine that with a woman” and chris is like looking at him dead serious and says “no”  i mean not to be that person but that was gay

ok but this is so fucking unrealistic ON WHAT PLANET WOULD SOMEONE CHOOSE CHRIS PINE OVER TOM HARDY

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

I love watching these films where good actors get pulled into subpar films because I forget I watched them and then I scroll past a reminder and giggle at myself. There was an uptick in these kinds of 'secret spies, secret lovers,' films for 2005-2015 and looking back on them, this was probably one of the more bottom-tier ones. Just watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith or Knight & Day or like, anything else, really.

Is this what the episode of adventure time was about? One director wants to make an action movie and the other wants to make a romantic comedy. Only jake and Finn copped on and became mates after BMO intervened but nobody intervened here and what we ended up with is a massive mess. The first scene really set it up to be a totally different film to what it ended up being. Pure weird sham outa ten.

This movie was made so we can all appreciate really good looking people and two regular not cool characters

But why is it bad he's British because when they first met she was like oh keep talking cause of your accent.

this is literally just two hours of being jealous of reese witherspoon

read the vanity fair article on reese witherspoon and ended up here. this movie sucks.

Maturity is coming to your senses and choosing Tuck over FDR.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

If Chris Pine and Tom Hardy were fighting over me, I would be over the moon. Hell why not have both of them at the same time? Reese you could’ve had both of them! I honestly like this movie a lot, it’s comforting and just a lot of fun. Also can I say the movies shown in here are spectacular, the level of taste is great.