Whilst it might not technically be the worst film of 2014 Transcendence must surely be a frontrunner for the most tedious movie of the year. Much was made of Wally Pfister’s move from Christopher Nolan’s goto cinematographer to director of his own big budget movies but on the basis of this dreary debut he might want to rethink his latest career change.

Transcendence feels like a rejected early ‘90s techno-thriller - a cautionary tale about the limitless power of technology and the hubris of the men who continue to push its frontiers - and just like those ‘90s thrillers (Lawnmower Man et al) it is also completely useless. The film’s story concerns a dying scientist (Johnny Depp) as his consciousness…

How to make The Deepest Movie Ever: Four Steps (without pictures)
by Wally Pfister

1. This is the golden rule. No one should be able to make heads or tails of your movie. How can you call a movie deep if it’s easily and simply accessible? So there you go. Never clarify what you’re trying to say.

2. Mix neuroscience, mathematics, philosophy, religion, politics, sociology, computer science, logic, romance and zombie action with each other. It will make your movie incredibly deep.

3. Your actors should act as if they are drugged. Your lead male actor should say "Last night we made a breakthrough." every five minutes, your lead female actor should look confused all the time (and she should…

MOVIE RULE #34:

If you're story is about the smartest scientists who've ever lived, don't have them act like the biggest fucking dummies on the planet.

This is what TRANSCENDENCE does. It is about the greatest technological minds of an era behaving like drooling morons. A dopey, lovesick scientist (Rebecca Hall, cursed with perhaps the single worst-written female character of 2014) realizes her husband, an even smarter technologist (Johnny Depp), is dying and makes the incredibly dumb decision to upload his consciousness into a "quantum" supercomputer. Within thirty seconds of coming online, the Depputer is like "I need to expand, and also get into the stock market, and y'know while I'm at it maybe get into some defense systems too."…

It's hard for me to hate a movie like Transcendence. For all its flaws, it's still an original science-fiction movie that seems legitimately interested in exploring ideas as opposed to blowing things up. What's more, it's never sloppily assembled, the plot never feels rushed, and first time director / long time (caller) Director of Photography Wally Pfeister has really assembled a talented cast here. Transcendence isn't bad in the way that most bad movies are bad, and because of that it stays pretty interesting for most of its running time. But boy, does it go off the rails spectacularly in its second half.

The movie follows a married couple, played by Johnny Depp and Rebecca Hall, who are both visionaries…

My wife has always been eager to change the world.
-Will Caster

Wally Pfister makes his directorial debut after 23 years as a cinematographer from newcomer Jack Paglen's first produced script. Two huge debuts here with a $100 million budget that could have benefited from either someone with more experience in the director's chair or on the written page.

Before Will Caster (Johnny Depp) passes away his brain or consciousness is "downloaded" into an Artificial Intelligence program. This brings up all sorts of questions from family and friends. Is this program really Will? Can human emotions exist in a program? If not, how does this change him? Is he actually just a dangerous copy of Will? This is the film's…

I had heard some bad things about Transcendence. In fact, I’d heard nothing but bad things about it. I got the disc from Love Film in the post and it just kind of sat on the table. But I got round to it and to be honest. I quite liked it. I think that a lot of the issue is that people were expecting something a little more intellectual from Pfister because of his ties with Noland. But, even if that was the intentions of the film, I found it all quite ludicrous and when I decided to go with it, I had fun with the film.

I also liked the way he creates this town and just turns it…