Waking Life

Waking Life ★★★★

>Be me
>At Dimple Records
>Planned on purchasing 'Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar'
>In line, see a gorgeous clerk
>Looks like Cybill Sheperd 
>Long ass line
>Finally the penultimate person at the front of the line
>I take that back, she looks more like Ingrid Bergman
>Hear her mention her favorite director - Richard Linklater
>Get nervous
>Spaghetti falls out of my pockets 
>I run out of line, nearly slipping on the spaghetti
>Picked up 'Waking Life', trying to impress her with my taste in film
>Discard the Disney masterpiece
>Line is shorter when I get back in
>Getting more nervous
>Start farting
>Shouldn't have eaten Taco Bell for breakfast
>See her laugh at her co-worker 
>Her smile is effervescent
>Her co-worker looks like a douche
>Get jealous
>Look at him with disdain
>Finally get to the clerk
>Rings me up 
>She's checking out her douche co-worker 
>And she doesn't mention 'Waking Life'
>The clerk is googly-eyed for her co-worker
>Get more jealous
>Pick up my movie
>Hop over the 5 foot counter
>Aggressively, and literally, slap the shit out of her douche co-worker with the 'Waking Life' DVD case
>Knocked his ass out
>Now there's shit and spaghetti everywhere
>And my FPS (farts per second) are at an all time high
>Not nervous anymore
>Have a raging hard-on
>Turn to the clerk
>Call her, "An inanimate fucking object."
>Hopefully she gets my 'In Bruges' reference
>I leave feeling like the Terminator
>I Go home 
>Wrote a review for 'Waking Life' on a file-sharing site
>The site got taken down
>Didn't save what I wrote
>I did enjoy it though 

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