Saw VI ★½

[wakes up, strapped in front of a television set. One hand glued to a remote control. A recording starts.]

Hello, Jacob.

I wanna play a game.

In your own eyes, you used to consider yourself quite the connoisseur of good films. No one could come up to you and convince you otherwise. Not with your library of good taste.

Still, a while back you decided to watch the complete Saw collection back to back. You voluntarily chose to do so even if you, for instance, instead could have sat down with the Zatoichi box set. Or, totally random, picked a few other immensely acclaimed masterpieces from the Criterion collection.

Now you will really learn to appreciate what you once had. A free will. In seven times seven hundred minutes you shall experience the horrors of Saw. And Costas Mandylor. Again. And again. And again. Seven times in a row. I promise you it will feel like a lifetime.

Right now you're feeling helpless.

Let the game begin.

[wakes up. For real. Heart racing]