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  • Le Samouraï

    Le Samouraï

    ★★★★★

    Criterion: EVERYBODY LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS! BLUUU-RAYYY!

  • Once Upon a Time in America

    Once Upon a Time in America

    ★★★★★

    Good god man. There is nothing else in the world like this. Fuck studios bro. Long live Leone, the greatest fucking director who ever existed. This is the magnum opus.

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  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Marissa Tomei deserves five stars. Keaton gets four. 
    The film itself gets one. 
    Been sitting at my iPad for about a half an hour, trying to collect my thoughts and just get SOMETHING on paper. The shittyness of this movie has made it very hard for me to express my feelings. I want to go about this in a mature way, and explain why I hated it instead of overusing the word fuck and shitting on marvel and the people…

  • The Emoji Movie

    The Emoji Movie

    ½

    I watched it so you don't have to. Yes, it's as bad as everyone says it is. 

    0/10