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  • A Rainy Day in New York

    A Rainy Day in New York

    ★★★★★

    Listen, this is a 5 star film because my man crush Timothée Chalamet plays a fictionalized version of me: A pretentious, ambitious, cultured asshole who thinks he’s above everyone else, and to be fair, is.

  • Bring It On

    Bring It On

    ★★★★★

    Ingmar Bergman died because he never got to direct Kirsten Dunst cheering the words "I'm major, I roar, I swear I'm not a whore!"

    Honestly, name a film in history with a better fucking opening.

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  • Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

    Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

    ★★★★★

    The only film I've ever truly loved.

  • Spiceworld: The Movie

    Spiceworld: The Movie

    ★★★★★

    Listen, these little Brit Bitches ENDED Jean Luc Godard, Francois Truffaut, Michaelangelo Antonioni, Federico Fellini, Ingmar Bergman, Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, Alfonso Cuarón, Guillermo Del Toro, Alejandro G. Iñarritu, Spike Lee, Wes Anderson, Paul Thomas Anderson, Ang Lee, Pedro Almodovar, Miloš Forman, David Fincher, Roman Polanksi, Woody Allen, The Coen Brothers, Quentin Tarantino, Stanley Kubrick, Martin Scorsese, Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock, Jacque Rivette, Wong Kar Wai, Akira Kurosawa, Andrei Tarkovsky, Bernardo Bertolucci, Bong Joon-Ho, Lars Von Trier, Michael Haneke,…