Jungle Cruise

Jungle Cruise ★★½

Emily Blunt plays a #girlboss who wears pants, yasss!!

The Rock isn’t horny enough for this movie. He’s handsome, but in a totally asexual way. This part called for a sexy scoundrel, and The Rock just plays a nice guy who inexplicably does crooked things then immediately is like, “That wasn’t very kind, you’re right, you got me.”

I wanted to like this so much more! But it’s just a miscast mess! The only actual way this feels like a classic movie throwback is how it portrays its “gay” character, which is so coded/non-explicit, it might as well not even be there.

If I got breakthrough Delta COVID from this, I’m going to be so irritated.

Patrick liked these reviews